OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / It's been very quiet in here the last few days

**Posted by lily** July 9, 2022 11:17 am

Hi 23yearslater,

I think maybe the scariest part of this experience is the recognition you really can be induced into falling in love blindly so that you are believing the man is different to who he is. There is no advice to give on this other than be kind to yourself even in the way you think and give yourself time to come to terms with it.

I had lived with my ex for 37 years when I realised that I'd been conducting my marriage with a sock puppet and the real man stood in the shadows behind manipulating me. horrible!

It is worth having a good cry over.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** July 9, 2022 2:07 pm

OutofHisCloset wrote:
I was told that the Facebook group was where people were being directed now when they made contact. I don't do Facebook, because I don't want to give Zuckerberg my data to mine.

Omg... Facebook!? It has about as much credibility as pigs flying. In my personal opinion

**Posted by Lyla** July 10, 2022 2:03 am

lily wrote:
we lost our visibility and don't get that regular influx of new people since being swallowed up by OnePath - I think you have to be lucky to find us. Nice sunny day here again - looks like the floods really are over.

Interesting...I searched "my husband is gay" and "my husband came out" and OurPath didn't come up in any of the results. I'm on holiday in New Zealand...The results may be very different in other parts of the world.

**Posted by oliviap** July 10, 2022 3:09 am

I have also noticed that the Podcasts seem to have "disappeared". It is almost three months since the last Podcast. Before then there were four in March/April 2022. I usually enjoy listening to the Podcasts although very few of them addresses my situation. My STBX and me were married for 38 and together 42 years years when he announced that he is gay. He is 62 and I am 61 years old. I would really love a Podcast for "senior" straight spouses. I feel that 42 years of my life had been gobbled up by a GID husband. Although he abused me emotionally, I loved him dearly. I am really struggling to move past this betrayel and bulding a new life for myself. It would have been so much easier if he told me 20 years ago. He now claims that he has known he is gay since he was eight years old. He is living with a guy twenty years younger than him and has fully embraced the gay life-style.

**Posted by Daryl** July 10, 2022 9:32 am

Regarding the podcasts -

Sam (Admin) wrote:
Kristin is on hiatus at the moment, tending to personal matters. She will resume when she is able.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** July 10, 2022 10:44 pm

Lyla wrote:
....I'm on holiday in New Zealand...The results may be very different in other parts of the world....

*Waves 😄

But it's winter..! You must have come here for the skiing...lol

Elle

**Posted by Sam (Admin)** July 11, 2022 6:06 am

Interesting...I searched "my husband is gay" and "my husband came out" and OurPath didn't come up in any of the results. I'm on holiday in New Zealand...The results may be very different in other parts of the world.

The OurPath IT team has been made aware of that (results the same in other parts of the world) and is working to resolve.

**Posted by lily** July 11, 2022 7:38 pm

If the conception is that this is the straight spouse's forum that is hosted by OurPath and is just part of what they offer, then you can switch the layout around and everyone benefits.

As I understand it, the space above the blue line that says index, etc is the banner. And it is the banner that the search engine for Google reads.

So to get prominence the first and biggest words are the most important and then the idea is to repeat key words as often as possible in the paragraph below which means the whole layout of the banner needs to change, imo, with the words straight spouse forum at the top in the biggest type and the OurPath logo and name to the right hand side of the paragraph.

and I think as well as including the terms straight spouse gay partner as much as possible, maybe not having the term LGBTQI in the paragraph will also help because it widens the parameters and there is so much written for the LGBTIQ community we are swamped by it.

It's a numbers game isn't it? The more people who come here the more people will connect with OurPath.

**Posted by Lyla** July 12, 2022 1:00 am

Ellexoh_nz wrote:
Lyla wrote:
....I'm on holiday in New Zealand...The results may be very different in other parts of the world....

*Waves 😄

But it's winter..! You must have come here for the skiing...lol

Elle

No...unfortunately, I don't think I'll make it down to the South Island this trip. I've been making my way from Auckland down to Wellington. In Tauranga now. Such a beautiful country!!

**Posted by Sam (Admin)** July 12, 2022 8:46 pm

For those wondering about the podcast: Kristin will be dropping a new one in the next few days. After that they will be sporadic at best. This is in part due to increased responsibilities outside OurPath, which is a good thing for her. I have let her know how much the podcast has been missed and is appreciated by those here.