maresyd, although we're a good 1/2 hour from Orland, we're there all.the.time.  It's where a ton of the good furniture stores are! 

Kel

I knew my husband was gay before we married. We were friends for a long time. I guess you can say we realized we loved each other and sex was good. He was very attentive and definitely enjoyed sex with me. We have been married 37 years. We have three grown children. Over the years things started to change, he was often late from work and sex was less and less. I can never say I was not aware. I dealt with it because I had three children and he is a good Dad. In fact I good husband. Yes there was times when he was/is distant. He is somewhere else. I also thought when the kids were done with college I would leave. Some circumstances did not let that happen. I finally confronted him a few years ago. He wasn't too surprised and did not deny anything. He says he loves me, and I believe this is true. He says it's only for sex, no emotional attachment,he does not want a relationship with a man. As time went on he can not be the person I want sexually, his interest in me is gone. Unfortunately, I love him and am still attracted to him. He tries really hard not to go and have sex with men but, it never lasts. I told him recently that we can stay together for now, but he can't have me any more. He is a very affectionate person, likes to hold my hand, hugs and kisses alot. I know he is devastated by my decision. I want a full relationship, not a half one. I am trying to regain my self esteem and gain courage to leave. I am 68 years old and still have a whole lot of life. It hurts real bad. This is my first post.