OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Pride Month Triggers

**Posted by Leslie77** June 3, 2022 7:32 am

I rarely post anymore, thinking that perhaps my multi-year trauma (ex-husband gay in denial and trans identifying) was subsiding, two and a half years after I left him. Pride Month is re-triggering me.

It's everywhere. I go to Kohl's and there are Pride T-Shirts. Pride support commercials on tv. Pride parades. Even Pride hikes.

Today I had a major trigger. News article about an interview with Lynda Carter in which she declares that Wonder Woman is a queer icon. It was timed to coincide with Pride Month. This particularly triggered me because my ex was a huge Wonder Woman fan. He saw the movie multiple times and said it was his favorite movie of all time.
https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/story/2022-06-02/lynda-carter-wonder-woman-pride-month-tweet

Is anyone else feeling Pride triggers?

**Posted by Gloria** June 3, 2022 7:45 am

Leslie, I admit that it is hard to process. Sending you a hug

**Posted by Ijaruk** June 3, 2022 11:26 am

I'm really struggling myself. I know it's not about me and my story is just a small part of a wider societal story but it's hard not to take it as a celebration of everything my ex did to me. It's a hard one to verbalise to those who haven't experienced it and I at least feel judged for experiencing this but you're not alone

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** June 3, 2022 2:04 pm

I found...
after months of rainbow triggers... that I can be stronger than pride month.
It was the good ole mindset switch that did it. This month is not mine. It's there to celebrate a community of which my partner (still in the closet bisexual) is not a member of.
There must be lots in the LGBTQ community who are good people after all

I do my best to ignore the whole circus

**Posted by Rob** June 3, 2022 7:09 pm

Maybe we should have straight pride month..oh wait thats considered wrong.

I think the ones that are authentic and didn't marry a straight person should be proud.. these spouses of ours in their fear and deceit have the opposite of pride.

**Posted by Leslie77** June 4, 2022 6:41 am

Thanks,everyone. That's a positive way to think of this - Pride is for those who are proud of who they are. My ex liked to attend Pride events but he wasn't, and still isn't, owning up to who he really is.

Good advice to ignore the whole circus.

**Posted by BirdSolveig** June 5, 2022 12:04 pm

Pride month is nauseating, a constant reminder of the big mistake I made when I married my TGXH. Thankfully I haven't seen him around for several months. .

**Posted by clintonia** June 5, 2022 12:58 pm

I started seeing a therapist just this week because Pride month would be returning again. Last weekend (3-day Memorial Day weekend) was hard for me. Therapists ask what I need to move on, and I say there's been a hole since he did this long ago, it's part of how I identify myself; I can continue to live, but not ever "move on". It's a huge chunk of me.

I don't feel like almost anyone outside of those who've experienced something similar are receptive to the idea. It's painful to feel intentionally silenced and ignored by everyone for 5+ years. People view themselves as enlightened and caring, but I increasingly feel the opposite when, after all this time, they still provide excuses for and choose to instead support people who are psychologically abusive. That's being a facilitator of abuse. Generally, straight people's support without acknowledgement of cis- partner's lives feels painful and threatening to me.

**Posted by Agl03** June 5, 2022 10:11 pm

Its a tightrope here. Our daughter came out 2 years ago and while she is still finding herself we have been supportive of her since. I even got shirts for us to wear to support her....little did I know I was helping him feed his secret. So when my husband did it two months ago its turned it all bittersweet. Because now yes, every time I see something I'm reminded of what he's done to me and our family but its also something that is positive for our daughter.

RIght now I have settled on avoidance best I can.

**Posted by inkundermyskin** June 7, 2022 10:07 am

fuck pride month.
as another poster said, to the ones that have been open their whole lives, or didnt hurt others on their path, i say congrats? ive never felt the urge to shout my straightness from the mountain tops.
to the ones that most of us know. the ones who deceived.
well i look at them as liars. cheaters. selfish.
but hey, lets pat them on the back for their courage and strength.
fuck pride month.