In 2020, my spouse came out as trans and it's been a challenge for several reasons. It's hard to balance the love and support I have for them with the need to maintain my own sense of who I am. It's true that having a spouse who is trans is like caring for a helpless infant while simultaneously dealing with a confrontational, hormonal teenager and mourning the death of the marriage that was. Plus, this has laid bare some of the other issues that were previously hidden beneath the surface. 

I'm not sure I would have survived the past two years without the love and support of my friends and my sister, the terrific support I've gotten from my therapist and the resources I have here. However, on the positive side I've used this time to address some longstanding issues I had with depression and anxiety, and am discovering and building on my own strengths.

Will we make it as a couple? The love we have is certainly still there, but things are not the same as they were and I realize they cannot be. We are taking it one day at a time.