OutofHisCloset wrote:
...you might want to read up on the tactics of abusers and narcissists, because you are seeing them in action in your life. DARVO, gaslighting, minimizing, blame-shifting, etc: once you know to watch for these, it will be eye-opening.
Wanted to take a second and go back to respond on to this statement in particular. He is not a narcissist. I am very familiar with their tactics, I was raised by a pair of them and it was brutal. My husband does not fit the bill. He does, however, have borderline personality disorder. He’s gotten a lot better about keeping himself in check over the years, and he’s never lashed out physically.
I’m also *unfortunately* well versed in abuse of every kind... my adolescent years were turbulent, to put it lightly. I was an absolute train wreck when he met me, and though he’s certainly done damage himself, he has also helped me piece myself together in a lot of ways. I can only imagine how taxing those first few years with me were. I’m much more stable now, but there are deep scars that will never fully fade, and dealing with them resurfacing from time to time that can be exhausting (as he has admitted himself).
The moral here is that he might not be perfect, but neither am I. Everyone has baggage they bring to the table.
Edit: in response to your second comment.
I will be paying very close attention from here on out. For sake of my sanity I kind of have to.
Last edited by HopelessRomantic (February 15, 2022 1:24 pm)
