I think it’s usually a cloak. I do have a relative who’s happy with both genders and says it’s equally good. So I know some people are Bi. They’d probably say it as being fluid or attracted based on emotional connection to either gender.

My husband came out to me a year ago saying he’s attracted to men, just a very small amount. He truly couldn’t admit to himself or me that it was more. Until just recently, when he saw that he has 0% attraction to women.

Gay people have two parents, one male one female.  Gayness is not a self-supporting characteristic - there would be no gay people if they weren't able, at least to some degree, to have sex with the opposite sex. 

My understanding is that people who genuinely think of themselves as bisexual are usually young.  With emotional maturity, once they form a romantic bond with someone of the same sex that's it for the bisexual thing.  If people are having sex with both sexes on into maturity then my contention is that they are sociopathic - their hip is divorced from their heart.

 

I do believe that some gays and lesbians prefer the label bi sexual but in my opinion, they are gays and lesbians. I think that they think that it sounds "less sinful".

LostNalone wrote:

Today I'm in the reading mood, so I've been reading past posts. Looking to get a better understanding and feeling more and more like everyone else here.
So I have a question, When your partner came out/ found out did they actually say Gay or do they all claim to be bisexual. My husband is GID but when he came out to me he said "I think I'm bi" I see that a lot in other posts. Is this yet one more cloak and dagger response to "soften the blow" make them feel better somehow? Is anyone really bi, or just another lie.

Sorry, just had to get that off my chest

Your post really hit me because since last August when my husband of 33 years was caught cheating with a man, the progression has been:

- anger and rage over the fact that I told anyone he had cheated with a man. He did care about the cheating part.
- next he said he has known for about ten years that he was interested in men
- ‘I’m straight’ - (I told him straight me don’t have sex with men.)
- His reply was ‘well then I guess I am bi’ - (very flippant with no sincerity behind it. )
- A month or so later it was ‘I am bi, and I am not ashamed of it.’  (I said being bi is nothing to be ashamed of.  Lying and cheating on your wife is.)
- I challenged him on the bi declaration, and he said he is bi because he still finds women attractive. I said I find women attractive but I don’t want to have sex with them. And since he had not had sex with his ready and willing female partner, me, for over two decades, I don’t see how he could say bi and not gay.
- latest declaration (which he said to my daughter) is that he is straight, he just wanted to see what it was like to be with a man but wouldn’t really want to do it again.

SAY IT WITH ME - GAY IN DENIAL

The hardest, saddest part in my mind is that the lying, hiding, cheating and betrayal - what our partners have actually done to devastate us - takes a backseat to them coming to terms with  their sexual orientation. I don’t give a damn who someone wants to have sex with.  I do give a damn if they are an honest, respectable, quality person that puts the feelings of their partner before their own.