OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / New Rock Bottom

**Posted by MyExodus** December 29, 2021 12:38 pm

So, TGT had my mind blown. Didn't think I could feel lower. Divorcing! I had 5 cousins help me bury the last of my immediate family in July. Plenty of my Christian friends knew I was going through my divorce (2 knew why) and that I had no more family. Two people thought enough of me to write my name on a Christmas card and mail it. My phone has been silent for a week. I have not heard anything since before Thanksgiving from my two people whom I trusted to confide. I. Am. All. Alone.

If you have someone who cares enough about you to ask you how your day was, you are blessed. I hear from no one except my daughter's who call me because they are required to.

**Posted by Victo** December 29, 2021 1:24 pm

Welcome to this forum. Welcome to the club nobody wants to join. I’m sorry that you need this place, but I’m glad you are here. There are several people here who will understand and support you as you process what you have been going through.

To repurpose a pro-LGBTQ marketing campaign, IT GETS BETTER.

Last edited by Victo (December 29, 2021 1:24 pm)

**Posted by Daryl** December 29, 2021 1:33 pm

Why not be the one to initiate a call to any of these people? I doubt anyone would object to a call to wish them a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, especially during these mystery days between the two holidays.

Make an early New Year's resolution to break out of your shell in '22. Cultivate some outside interests, even virtually if you're not ready for in-person activities. Perhaps do some volunteering. Go boldly into the year. Show everyone that this will not deter you from living your best life.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** December 29, 2021 2:18 pm

Your sadness at being alone is stopping you from seeking support.
Even if you have nobody calling you, ringing you, appearing on your doorstep can you still not get out in the fresh air, go for a walk?....greet everyone you pass

You need hugs. Will virtual do? We all know how you feel, but because this Mindfuck can't be talked about with just anybody (like we do with the weather) we have to learn to be more open with those who do know what we're going through

Do I sound too harsh? That's because I've learned it's up to me to get through this. Be stronger than The Gay Thing

Elle

**Posted by walkbymyself** December 29, 2021 2:36 pm

MyExodus: for whatever reason, I received exactly one Christmas card this year. I think it's just pandemic overload, I'd try not to take it personally and give these people the benefit of the doubt. Everyone's having a challenging time -- maybe not quite in the way you're being challenged, but it's just a hard time for everyone all round.

And honestly I didn't send any cards at all.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** December 29, 2021 4:04 pm

walkbymyself wrote:
MyExodus: for whatever reason, I received exactly one Christmas card this year.....And honestly I didn't send any cards at all.

I stopped sending xmas cards years ago. It was always a job that I felt was expected of me (and I was okay with and loved doing it) but as times and stresses have gone on I decided to stop. I think it was my mother the Matriarch passing that was the point I said "no more" and I was totally okay with it. But...

....funnily enough this year my partner who's never been interested in the custom...pulled out a pack of xmas cards and envelopes and asked me for everybody's address (because why would he have them right!) then proceeded to wish everybody merry/happy....etc etc. Very strange but I'm not curious enough about the reason why to bother asking him.

Elle

**Posted by lily** December 29, 2021 4:45 pm

I don't know if it counts but I've hit a new rock bottom of grumpiness today.

one xmas card too, from a cousin in Scotland who took up doing the family cards when her mum died. I like getting them they're nice and I will write back . My favourites are the ones with robins on. I always like getting them but I have hardly ever sent cards myself.

**Posted by Abby** December 29, 2021 8:08 pm

I hadn't bought or sent Christmas cards when I tested positive for Covid before Christmas. Christmas plans were canceled, people I know were hospitalized and I still haven't gotten around to completing a "Family and Friends" New Year's letter to mail: it was such a downer that I abandoned the effort.

I am lucky that I have recovered but everyone is carrying way to much stress. Go easy on them.

**Posted by lily** December 30, 2021 2:36 pm

Abby, so sorry to hear that. Glad you are recovering. wishing you all the best.

**Posted by Rob** January 1, 2022 6:37 pm

MyExodus,

E-hug ..virtual but sincere and authentic.

People are so caught up in their lives..dont think their thinking about anyone else's troubles during the holidays.

Consider yourself blessed to be away from TGT...a priceless Christmas present. The solace and comfort of one's own company is better than the co part of someone lying and scheming.