OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Change is hard – The new OurPath name and other things

**Posted by Sam (Admin)** September 13, 2021 2:22 pm

Steve wrote:
Also is there anyone here who remembers the name Portia?

Portia (a lesbian) caused holy hell in the forum for months.

"Portia" was a handful. She had a transitioning partner but I can't remember which way the partner was transitioning. Posts were difficult to block on that forum, I did correspond with her by email, she would agree to behave and then go blow things up again. She finally begged me to find a way to block her because, she told me "sometimes I can't help myself". I wound up blocking all posts from her employer, which was fairly large, and hoped nobody else who worked there needed us. She thanked me by email.

**Posted by Steve** September 13, 2021 2:38 pm

Sam (Admin) wrote:
I did correspond with her by email, she would agree to behave and then go blow things up again. She finally begged me to find a way to block her because, she told me "sometimes I can't help myself".

I was emailing her in the background too saying “Portia… you CAN’T come on the forum and say that!!!” When her bad behavior was pointed out to her she’d double down on it.

Oh Lord there’s been some characters in here over the years and judging by that last deleted post it appears there might still be a few

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** September 13, 2021 3:14 pm

MJM017 wrote:
Maybe this will help, Elle.. (Will delete by 5pm PST.)

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** September 13, 2021 4:09 pm

itsabouther wrote:
I dislike the new name. ...

"A Straight Path"...maybe? I agree with much of your personal inner feelings about the change and do feel it takes who we were....straight...and steps us as a group back into the shadows.

Elle

**Posted by lily** September 14, 2021 3:13 pm

It's not about a path Elle, it's about identity, a type of being.

I notice OurPath is registered for tax free donations - not sure if that has anything to do with the name change, from my limited knowledge, it is religious groups that get that 501(c)(3) rating.

So, all of that is fine. And it reflects the roots of this site which is American Christian and I very much respect that, it's good to say who you are isn't it - but this forum is not about religion, it's not about a path, the commonality is of being straight spouses.

and it matters. it matters. when we were growing up I remember the braveness of those gay men and women who acknowledged they were different and the thing I heard that struck me was their saying you don't understand what it's like to be me. Straight people don't understand what it's like for gay people,

Fair enough, isn't it. But wait, what about the bit where they go oh it's the same the other way round - gay people don't understand what it's like for straight people either?

If we have an alphabet we have an alphabet and I want my letter in it too.

The pain of a straight spouse needs to be acknowledged, it's a wake up call - like a hand touching flame, it's not their hand getting seared - to me it seems like a lack of empathy, the in denial spouse doesn't appear to hear a thing.

**Posted by Sam (Admin)** September 14, 2021 3:32 pm

lily wrote:
from my limited knowledge, it is religious groups that get that 501(c)(3) rating.

So, all of that is fine. And it reflects the roots of this site which is American Christian and I very much respect that,

I believe you are in Australia? 501(c)(3) refers to a clause in the US Tax code that applies to all non-political non-profit organizations. It can include religious organizations and charities, but also any secular non-profit, be it a museum, local theater support, charity, service organization, or a secular support organization like SSN/OurPath. From it's inception, SSN never had a religious affiliation. If you don't pay income tax in the US it is of no help, but if you do, donations to a 501(c)(3) organization can be deducted from gross income for tax purposes.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** September 14, 2021 4:48 pm

lily wrote:
.......If we have an alphabet we have an alphabet and I want my letter in it too.....

Yes I wanted the letter 'S' in the soup too once upon a time. But I'm over being angry about the injustice of it all. I see the brave LGBTQ community everywhere while the straight partners/wives/husbands/boy & girlfriends stand in the shadows. As a section of society I don't believe we'll, at least in my lifetime, ever be loud enough and mostly we have to recover from the Mindfuck individually and for the most part unacknowledged. I care less about recognition these days. I have no fire in my belly anymore and just want my life letter-less

**Posted by lily** September 14, 2021 6:25 pm

ah okay thanks Sam. Is it new to have the 501(c)(3) on the front page, or have I only just noticed it.

Yes, I have always thought the forum to be a welcoming and well managed place.

Elle, tbh I don't want to be an S in the alphabet either - we'd only have to split that into a number of letters too, S&M would then mean Straight and Monogamous.

all I really meant is I'm here too.

**Posted by Kel** September 17, 2021 4:02 pm

MJM017 wrote:
Am assuming SSN/OurPath receives close to 50% of their funding from not for profit foundations.

Just to be clear, SSN/OurPath receives 100% of its funding from individual donors. While some of the donations come in from names we recognize within the straights community, we don't know anything about most donors unless they offer that information up. Some of the older ladies who still send checks into the P.O. Box occasionally write nice little notes telling us that we helped them back in the day, and they're paying it forward. Most people donate online, and we have only as much information as they share with us. We do receive anonymous donations, and some in other people's honor. We've even had gay partners give because they're thankful for the help we gave their straight partners.