OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / I've noticed that many of you can't bring yourselves to..

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** August 23, 2021 9:55 pm

...type out the word Mindfuck 🙂 There's always an asterisk or two camouflaging the u... or the c... sometimes the whole word except the bookends M and K.

If anyone needs to practice spelling it in a safe thread of no judgement...they can do it here.

The word Mindfuck perfectly captures, I think, the space the straightspouse finds him/herself having to extricate ourselves out of.

Elle

**Posted by Soaplife** August 23, 2021 10:04 pm

Hi Elle, some moderated sites automatically delete that and similar words. So I play it safe ;-). Its a personal choice.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** August 24, 2021 2:34 am

Soaplife wrote:
Hi Elle, some moderated sites automatically delete that and similar words. So I play it safe ;-). Its a personal choice.

Yip Soap I realise it's personal choice
I spell it Mindfuck and I've never been moderated It's a great descriptor for what we go through,

Elle

**Posted by Ordinary guy** August 24, 2021 4:47 am

I can’t seem to bring myself to write it…

Blindduck… They say that “If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, Then it’s probably a duck! Some of us were actually blind to this due to us being trusting and honest.

Grindluck… If we manage to come through and put in the work things can change for the better.

Findmuck… The discovery of distasteful, and or revealing pornography or questionable internet dating apps.

Maybe it’s the mindf*ck of it all!

**Posted by Rob** August 24, 2021 4:54 am

Mindfuck (slang)
noun
a disturbing or extremely confusing experience, in particular one that is caused by deliberate psychological manipulation.
verb
greatly confuse or psychologically disturb (someone).

I recently saw my GX and it was certainly like going back in the mindfuck. I describe it to my family and friends as an alternate reality. One could say its the reality of her closet where I'm the evil criminal and she must continue the narrative even though I am no longer in it. It's like a stoic resolve she has to make her reality morally correct and true by being mean to me years later.

Fortunately for me I surround myself with good moral people now with no secrets schemes or malevolent intent..
People who say what they mean and mean what they say.
I live in real reality and thank God everyday for delivering me from the mindfuck.

Last edited by Rob (August 24, 2021 4:55 am)

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** August 24, 2021 3:41 pm

Rob wrote:
Mindfuck (slang)
noun
a disturbing or extremely confusing experience, in particular one that is caused by deliberate psychological manipulation.
verb
greatly confuse or psychologically disturb (someone)....

I've never looked up a definition of the word before...lol

Elle

**Posted by lily** August 24, 2021 4:21 pm

wow, okay - that is a precise definition of what is done to us. mindf*ck it is then. (I don't like typing the word either, years ago I was told it gets picked up in search engines).

**Posted by Toward the Light** August 24, 2021 8:13 pm

And for me the mindfuck continues, though not every day, only occasionally, like today when I found out that my nephew, a blood relative, my sister’s son, invited my ex, a cross-dressing LIAR who gaslighted me through a 28 year marriage, to his wedding in October. And my nephew invited my ex LIAR’s new partner, a woman I’m sure he’s gaslighting too. WTF. Because I didn’t drag my ex cross-dressing LIAR through the mud, bad mouth him, take our story to the family tabloids, I guess my nephew still feels like he has a relationship with him? And my ex crossdressing LIAR intends to attend. But am I supposed to attend the wedding too? I think not. I guess I have choices too. I have never spoken my truth about what happened. Do I really need to be made to witness my ex crossdressing LIAR’S continuing charade of innocence amongst my entire family? Ugh. I’m so angry and realize I’m not healed. Another mindfuck for sure.

**Posted by Soaplife** August 24, 2021 8:58 pm

TowardtheLight, that sucks. The injustice is real. Feeling obliged not to tell people is such a sh*t sandwich. For a while I thought I had to keep gxh's secrets. Then I realised I didn't.

Now I am pretty frank about why I left. I have a script that says it clearly and briefly, if I need to.

Even if people know, however, they often don't 'get' it and expect things of us that are unreasonable. In that case, I wouldn't hesitate to tell them I decline as I find it too stressful because of the history.

And they might be family but they are not my friends any more if that makes them annoyed at me.

**Posted by Toward the Light** August 25, 2021 6:22 am

Thanks Soaplife. You get it and that helps more than you know, especially with the crazies these situations produce in me. It’s a re-traumatizing, another staged performance as our lives together had become. I thought of another option—I could speak to my ex LIAR and ask him to consider not attending or to explain to me his motivation for attending—he didn’t even like this nephew so it doesn’t make sense except as an opportunity to show my family what a mistake I made since he’s such a nice guy. Hahahahaha!