OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Glad I'm straight. There's no confusion

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** August 16, 2021 11:10 pm

Something happened today and I need to get it out. My son messaged saying he and his girlfriend have been going through a bad patch. They met thru Tinder...I know, I know!!! She was his very first and I don't know who instigated it but they had for a while an open r'ship, with same-sex attraction in an mmf. Now the pigeons are coming home to roost, along with the accompanying emotion, recriminations, confusion, arguments and indecision.
On top of this my older son I find is bisexual.

While they have a different father...I am the mother of both these boys and I'm calling into question my role as their caregiver and nurturer, even though I know it's silly to think that way.

**Posted by Daryl** August 17, 2021 12:09 am

If they are comfortable enough to talk to you about this, I think you did things right. Hopefully that means they will be just as honest in their other relationships.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** August 17, 2021 1:02 am

Daryl wrote:
If they are comfortable enough to talk to you about this, I think you did things right. Hopefully that means they will be just as honest in their other relationships.

I felt very trusted to have their confidence. I just feel... Wait.. What! This on top of everything else.

Elle

**Posted by Soaplife** August 17, 2021 7:57 am

Wow elle - stop asking what next because the universe will always pull out a doozy for you!

Young adult kids making their first independent decisions can be hair raising. Its nothing we've done, its just life.

Its a crazy world out there for young adults to navigate. If they turn to you and trust you that's something to be glad of.

Like you I listen and keep loving them. You get resilient.

**Posted by Gloria** August 17, 2021 8:47 am

Kia, I am happy that your son was comfortable to tell you that he is homosexual. I would love my child no matter what. Your son may be confused and he needs to not just read but study his bible. I wish you all the best with this shocking news. You may or may not have done anything for him to be what he is. Good luck.

**Posted by Daryl** August 17, 2021 9:08 am

I'm sure it really does feel like a "what next?" moment. I think you'll be able to handle it. They are your kids and that is really all that matters.

**Posted by Julian_Stone** August 17, 2021 10:46 am

Daryl wrote:
If they are comfortable enough to talk to you about this, I think you did things right. Hopefully that means they will be just as honest in their other relationships.

Absolutely!! Your children know (and trust) that your love is unconditional...and that is such a beautiful thing. I imagine most of our spouses didn't grow up in that kind of environment.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** August 17, 2021 1:05 pm

Gloria wrote:
Kia, I am happy that your son was comfortable to tell you that he is homosexual. I would love my child no matter what. Your son may be confused and he needs to not just read but study his bible. I wish you all the best with this shocking news. You may or may not have done anything for him to be what he is. Good luck.

Gloria... Please don't comment in my threads again. I don't like the tone of your post or the biblical viewpoint

**Posted by rekamc** August 17, 2021 1:08 pm

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay or bi-sexual, no one should ever be shamed because of their sexuality -- what I find wrong/unjust is when a non straight person (be it male or female) drags a straight partner into their closet and that is when everything goes sour

**Posted by Rob** August 18, 2021 6:03 pm

Ellexoh_nz,

Yes really cool that your kid could talk to you about this. We want our kids to be happy and I would not care if my kids are straight or gay..only that they are true to themselves and who they marry.

I have no experience with bi..if I think of my GX I classify her a closeted lesbian in a lesbian relationship..no need to come out. Her general view is a hatred of masculine things and all men , unless they are gay, so that should have been a giant red flag to me.

Bi seems confusing to me because if they are to marry they need to pick one or the other. All you can do is support your kids.