so its been almost 17 months since my ex came out to me. about 16 months since i moved out. a lot of you know the backstory by now. 
well i started an Instagram about a month ago. I'm buying a ford bronco and wanted to follow it and some tattoo artist. i didn't use my real name, or allowed my contacts to be uploaded. well wouldn't you know it, fucking IG has suggested follows, and guess who pop up? yep, my ex. so naturally click on it, and its private, but her profile pic is her and her new girl. some how i navigated around and found her new girls profile, which is also private. however the new girl has a message on hers that is a green heart plus a blue heart with the date of 4-20-20.
well green is my ex favorite color. 
fucked up thing is i found out 3/27/20. i moved out 4/10/20.. she wished my a happy bday on 4/14/20. with a sentimental message that gave me hope at the time. i know that by the time a woman gets courage, and strength to leave, they been gone emotionally for awhile. so yes, i had a feeling that this started before she came out. that is clear now. 
hurts like a motherfucker too.
and then to make it worse, through my navigation, i found her daughters. the 2 i spent 10 years raising them. spent  more time, money, love and energy than there dad. the 2 that sent me very loving emotional text when i moved out. the 2 that she blocked me from last summer..
i sent a follow request to the oldest. it was immediately denied and i was blocked. 
i will love them all, always. regardless. 
but fuck. talk about some daggers to that small piece of heart i have left.