I originally posted this on the MOM page and it was suggested that I put it under support, so here goes. 
I am straight, married to a GID/BID who really does not know what he his. Last year I put down very specific rules, no sex, you live your life and I will live mine. Our marriage is a contract between two people who care dearly for each other, love each other, but are not IN love with each other. After a lot of talking we came to an agreement that 1. He would get counseling. 2. We would consider moving closer to family and friends so I did not feel so isolated. Before any of that happened he had a massive heart attack. His heart is damaged beyond repair and now I am his caretaker. He is scared to death to be alone for more than a few hours and says that his heart attack was a warning from God that he needs to "clean up his act" and be a proper husband. He has swore off men and all thought of homosexuality. The problem is the damage is done, I cannot make the words I've heard just go away. I can't pretend that none of this ever happened. I thought I could make this work on a platonic platform because I care deeply for him, but now what I feel is trapped. I will not leave him now, for I am not that kind of person, but sometimes I just wish he would die and free me from this situation. Then of course I feel horrible because this is not his fault. I know  that no one can help me on this, I just needed to tell someone and you are all my village (no one else knows his history). Thank you all for being here, being supportive and just listening.