OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Can we make SSN more hospitable to people on varying paths?

**Posted by TangledOil** May 25, 2021 4:48 pm

Elle,

I don’t stay to entice people to other groups. I stay because it’s nice to occasionally find camaraderie in those with experiences similar to my own.

Tangled

**Posted by TangledOil** May 25, 2021 4:49 pm

Thank you Susanne and Dutchman for all of your friendship and support. I appreciate you.

**Posted by lily** May 25, 2021 6:28 pm

Tangled, this is not the first time someone has told you that you are demonstrating a lack of empathy towards the straight spouses, who are generally in a lot of pain.

On the one hand to say something to the effect that straights should be happy married to bisexuals - this to someone who is likely to have poured their heart and soul into making their marriage happy - to follow it up with something like oh no don't stay in an abusive marriage is a two step - as if you want to cover up rather than retract the first bit.

**Posted by TangledOil** May 25, 2021 6:59 pm

Lily,

I’m pretty sure I’ve never said that. If I did, please post the link. My husband is a good person, a really good person, in fact. I’m happy to be married to a really good person. That means more to me than him being straight or bi.

Tangled

Last edited by TangledOil (May 25, 2021 8:15 pm)

**Posted by SusanneH** May 26, 2021 10:22 am

Ellexoh_nz wrote:
TangledOil wrote:
......."I would not be able to send you an invite to the discord group as there are three of us that join together and discuss who we will invite. .... "

Tangled....This is exactly what I encountered with one of the Yahoo MOM groups, needing to meet a criteria to join....which was totally unlike the space this Forum gave me to decide for myself where I belonged.

The reason the invite wasn’t able to be approved was that the person didn’t meet the main requirement. The discord group is:
Straight Spouses in a MOM.
she did not meet the “in a MOM”.

I for one feel you should no longer need to be a member here. It appears you stay simply to entice members to your other groups.

I don’t think that’s up to you. And, from what I’ve read, Tangled frequently helps new members, and is not here “simply to entice members to other groups.

Other groups are out there, and many of us can use another perspective and get other opinions, etc. So, I see nothing wrong with mentioning other groups unless it’s against the rules.

Elle

KIA KAHA

**Posted by Gloria** May 26, 2021 11:16 am

I joined last July and posted my story. I received an unkind reply. I talked to my therapist and she said that it is possible that everyone in this group may not be a straight spouse. I read the comments and stories now and it helps me. I do not post my personal information. If a member is having a difficult time and feels uncomfortable, reading other members stories does help.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** May 26, 2021 1:23 pm

SusanneH

My post was a comment on Tangled's answer to a post by somebody else. It is my opinion of the way she comes across to me. And I originally wrongly posted it on the MOM board so moved it.

And no there's nothing wrong with mentioning other groups. It's the dismissive (towards the Forum) way she does it. Again this is my opinion.

The Forum already has a gay man who runs his own thread and never posts anywhere else... I think that's all the LGBTQ input we need here

Elle

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** May 26, 2021 1:37 pm

Gloria wrote:
..... I talked to my therapist and she said that it is possible that everyone in this group may not be a straight spouse. .,...

Your therapist! said that?! That just sounds so unprofessional and scaremongering

!!!

**Posted by TangledOil** May 26, 2021 1:54 pm

...

Last edited by TangledOil (May 26, 2021 1:55 pm)

**Posted by TangledOil** May 26, 2021 1:57 pm

Ellexoh_nz wrote:
Gloria wrote:
..... I talked to my therapist and she said that it is possible that everyone in this group may not be a straight spouse. .,...
Your therapist! said that?! That just sounds so unprofessional and scaremongering

!!!

My therapist indicated similar doubts about some of those posting on SSN... she thought some were trolls getting a thrill out of antagonizing true straight spouses.