Inreconcilable differences.

There was no option for inreconcilable similarities.

Seriously I could not put anything else to my friend of so many years..that was not me...and my lawyer, in my no fault area,  said anything else would just get me expense and grief.

Truth is its a financial and logistic transaction..it  offers no use to the hurt, betrayal and infidelity.  These spouses broke that vow/promise/contract and left us long ago.   The divorce was simply pomp and circumstance..like a graduation for hurt inflicted and made permanent long ago.


PS.  The fact that you deliberate about it shows the quality of person you are.
We are so much more than what's put on some piece of paper..

WWB,

That’s good to ask. Since we weren’t near divorce either, I didn't’, however I see how it can be beneficial.

I had always (assumed..now, that tells you something) thought/heard from way back that if a spouse cheated, that the one that didn’t had the ‘top hand’ however over the years (and, everything I’ve heard has been either ‘overheard’ or similar) it sounded like that wasn’t the case at all anymore. that it doesn’t really matter at all. It sure doesn’t seem fair. But, I never thought much about the bits and pieces of divorce as I never had to think of it before. My first husband & I (he passed away in 2003) never even mentioned the word divorce! Of course, we never had a reason to, either. But,, it just wasn’t an option anyway. Oh, I do miss him even though I love my husband now. It’s just that we were married 32 years and didn’t have anything like cheating or bisexuality (he would have freaked!) come up and practically ‘grew up’ together, while my current husband & I have been married 16+ yrs, and have been through the cheating with men throughout our r’ship until last year. So.......like night and day. Sorry, didn’t mean to add that. went down memory lane.

Take care of yourself. And, it’ll work our, whichever way you go. You’ll be just fine 😊.

I am going through the divorce proceedings now. After consulting with many lawyers, I am going through a mediator due to the complexity of the divorce it was the best course of action for the assets I was going after. I went after alimony (apparently I'm not entitled to by the courts, so a mediator was best, future bonuses, future stock options, and future inheritance). Apparently all the items I'm after besides the assets that could be divided, he doesn't "technically" own them yet in the eyes of the court. However in mediation it apparently can be written in. I am crossing fingers it will get approved and I will be done and move on. I can't file for the divorce for another month or two.

The mediator kept telling me a judge will not sign off on the divorce if the assets are one sided. She kept asking me to concede on a few things and I did, but not by much. One item not up for concession is his inheritance. My MIL has a business and assets. I helped her build her business. I am her assistant, manager, accountant advisor, business handler; medical advisor, her everything.  I take care of her from afar (in a different state) when her son and other family members who lives 10 house down do not even stop by to say hi or help her! I deserve this money.

I told my family if something happens to me, please go after this money! Her business is valued over $1MM today and with her retirement and assets. I will wait FOREVER! I did not back down. The mediator tried to have me concede on it. She asked me 3 times and tried to make me back down, but I held my ground. She said I need to put to make this work that he will have half of your inheritance. I said that's fine, my parents have no inheritance as I take care of them now.

When the time comes, You FIGHT for what you deserve. I had remorse, but I do not anymore. When you continue to lie and deceive AFTER I tried to stand by you with all this crazy trans new and willing to help you, but still more lies and deceit.... then you deserve to have everything taken away. I told him he was gonna feel "my wrath" for putting me and my family through all of this. He has never seen my wrath in 16 years we were together. I have always been pleasant and helpful and standing by him.

I never wanted to become this revengeful person, but he made me go there. Now he will know when you mess with the wrong person, be ready to have it all taken away.

Last edited by LostAtSea (February 11, 2021 9:18 pm)

We aren't to the point of filing, but live in a no-fault state.  

As much as I would love to be vindictive, I would rather have the children than take him to the cleaners. He knows I want to move out of state--back to where I grew up, where my family is, somewhere the kids and I would have family and friends and support.  He could make that difficult.  So I will play nice where necessary if it means getting away from this hell and away from him.

Last edited by ThisTooShallPass (January 18, 2021 4:43 pm)