Dutchman, he initially said he couldn’t put a label on it and later said he was bi... but nothing indicates that he is bi... so, in talking with the therapist she was very certain he’s just gay.
You are so right about communication which is so seriously lacking!!! He is under a lot of stress with work and that could easily take all of his focus but, as luck would have it, my finding out about his sexuality arose at the same time as covid and the terrible work stress. Stinks for him, lots of things to attend to.
He is meeting with the therapist next week and we will go from there. Meanwhile, I think there is still more to his story than he has shared. He expresses that he still has some shame about his sexuality and that seems to block him from coming completely clean with me. His phone is completely locked down, he gets angry if I even asked how his day was, much less who he saw or where he went. And he does have a rather large bag of “toys” that he keeps in his car. So... it smells fishy...
He keeps saying he wants to stay married and make our relationship stronger than ever but he’s got a long way to go before winning my trust. I’m not staying just to be the trophy wife on his arm. I would really like to make it work but, as you know, it takes both people trying.
So, I’m putting in my efforts. But I’m also watching my back and making sure I take care of myself in case it becomes obvious that it’s time to go.
Stronger wrote: