OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Why am I not enough

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** January 10, 2021 2:27 pm

ThisTooShallPass wrote:
................................Whether someone is already divorced or separated, is "trying to save" their marriage, is in limbo, is looking for an exit plan, or is happily married in a MOM, doesn't matter--the notion that certain straight spouses be limited in their posting is another example of that type of negativity. Is it really appropriate to ask a straight spouse to limit (silence?) the sharing of their experiences in a support group that is supposed to be for them too?

As much as I was offended/shocked by Tangled's put-downs I was also reminded of when I was told, when I asked for and Admin created the MOM board,....that I should stay on that board and not cross over to where people were still unsure of where they stood in the Mindfuck. The irony is...that I no longer, except for telling new people about the other boards, go onto that board because it no longer reflects who and where I am. Yet Tangled sees no barrier she should consider when (edited) "and where" she comments

Elle

Last edited by Ellexoh_nz (January 10, 2021 2:46 pm)

**Posted by SusanneH** January 10, 2021 2:32 pm

TTSP, Thank you once again. You worded that so well.

I was just reminded of a few things AA teaches that could benefit here:

Take what you want and leave the rest.

Don't give advice. Share your experience, strength and hope.

Let it go. (Don't hang on to resentments...ie: don't let someone else live 'rent free' in your head) It's only hurting you.

I know there were some more I had in mind when I started, but I've already forgotten. Getting older. Memory going. But, they do have some good things to live by

Last edited by SusanneH (January 10, 2021 2:38 pm)

**Posted by Dutchman** January 10, 2021 3:24 pm

longwayhome wrote:
I'm just personally not into MOMs where I have to peg my husband, that's part of the education for MOM's right? Sorry not what I signed up for and if that is viewed as closed minded too, so be it. I'm thinking of my own mental health thank you.

There is the Strawman again. I was already wondering what kept him so long...

**Posted by lily** January 10, 2021 3:34 pm

"Nobody is asking you or any other straight spouse to change your story. In fact, that was Tangled's original objection - people were essentially telling the OP of this thread that her story wasn't what she said. Whether the reader agrees with certain parts of her story or not, is irrelevant at that point--essentially telling her that it is not true, (especially since the poster really didn't give much background information for anyone to even interpret) is trying to change her story and experience, even if unintentionally. "

The opening post is short and simple, she is reeling in shock having just discovered her husband is bi. She has one big question - why am I not enough?? yes two question marks. People answered the question. TO apparently felt affronted by the answer because he likes men - in her mind his calling himself bisexual invalidates in some way what is the obvious answer to the OP's question? I think her attack was unwarranted and also based on her ideas of what bisexuality means.

My ex identified as bisexual. He said it meant he was special, that he had a choice and it was none of my business. But the truth is he's no more special than the next bisexual, and the choices he made affected me. at one point, I think it was late 40's he was dressed in grey from his underpants on out. That's how much fun he had married to a woman.

**Posted by inkundermyskin** January 10, 2021 4:03 pm

i'm sorry for getting off topic, and away from trying better to support the OP.