OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / The body doesn't lie

**Posted by LostAtSea** January 6, 2021 2:27 pm

Have you heard the saying "the body doesn't lie"?

When you feel the body and intimacy connection is gone and lost, it's for a reason? But your mind doesn't want you to believe it. I should have listen to my mind, when our intimaticy was going down. What heterosexual man doesn't desire his wife, when she does everything she can do? And I am not a bad looking person. I'm petite and in shape and take care of myself and him. I do EVERYTHING (cook, clean, pay bills, plan vacations, do suprise dinners). This goes to show you how unappreciated I was and how little he has tought of me in his betrayal after 16 years together.

I had a bad off/on 10 year break up before I met my soon to be ex. I learned through that lesson, ONLY time changes and people do not. You either accept the behavior or you grieve and walk away. I didn't walk away 16 years ago when I found women's clothes (not knowing he was cross dressing and said it was an ex girlfriend) or when I found porn b/c all men watch porn right? He would never tell me what kind of porn it was, but now I know it was trans porn.

I almost didn't even listen to my own advice and almost let him come home this weekend to make it work. When conflicted decisions, matters of the heart think louder than the brain.

I will NEVER doubt my brain and body again!

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** January 9, 2021 5:07 pm

Several times over the last year I've had moments of wanting the intimacy (not sex tho) that we used to have. But the thought of the disappointment in doing so makes me shove it away before I voice it and ruin the progress I've made. I feel anyway that this ban on sex that I've slapped on us may make him think more about what he could be having and he might simply rebuff me. Omg it's a round-a-bout!!

As a man, who provided/s for his family and has a history with me that's longer than the Mindfuck, has an awesome work ethic, is interested in how things work.....(well except for our r'ship) I still see him as a good man. But as the driver of the thing inside him that led him to care more about his own needs, who thinks the answer to our problem is sexual/more sex/sex with other people...I have lost respect for him

Elle

**Posted by hellobritty** March 18, 2021 9:22 am

This is almost exactly the situation I am in. After 16 years of marriage and 19 years of being friends I feel like my husband is possessed or something. I had no clue and saw no signs of his interest in transitioning. I'm not an idiot, it just never was obvious in any way. I feel betrayed and anxious. We have a young daughter. I'm still in the shock stage,I guess. Looking back the only clue would be his distance in the last year, not wanting intimacy and pulling away. I just thought he was stressed from his job and the virus.I don't hate him or want to make him hurt, I just don't want to be married anymore. It's a scary prospect.

**Posted by Rob** March 18, 2021 10:01 am

Yeah I think many of us are hit by shock of it. My GX seemed possessed...I asked my priest and no, TGT and being a mean narcisstist does not qualify for an exorcism..