OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Why am I not enough

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** January 9, 2021 12:22 pm

TangledOil wrote:
Elle, I’m not sure what your point is. I meant what I said......

Your comments..... " Many of you are exceptionally closed minded and a big part of the problem"

"you present like you have the knowledge of sexuality that people had in the 1950s. You might consider educating yourself some"

Those comments (of your true feelings about the straightspouses on this board?) belong in the MOM board, not the Support board. I know you meant what you said.... And you have space and time to say it on the correct board.

Elle

**Posted by SusanneH** January 9, 2021 12:31 pm

Okay, now you have my ire up. And since we’ve lost the OP anyway, I’m going to say something about it.

Elle, I know you have something against the MOM board. However, I have NO idea how TO’s comments should have to be on the MOM board. Can you please tell me how comments about this bi vs gay has anything to do with keeping a MOM together? (Or anything like that) whew, this is getting tiresome!

Last edited by SusanneH (January 9, 2021 12:32 pm)

**Posted by TangledOil** January 9, 2021 1:06 pm

rekamc wrote:
TangledOil wrote:
Inundermyskin,

No, it was primarily directed at the one who stated he didn’t believe male bisexuality exists.
my apologies if I offended or hurt you in any way, shape or form, like I said earlier, it's my own personal belief and it doesn't mean anything.

Thank you. It’s my personal opinion that a stranger telling a new member that her husband is in fact gay isn’t helpful in anyway whatsoever. I would imagine it would send new members, in many instances, running for the hills. I have kept in touch with about a half dozen new members who left here short after they arrived because of the horrific negativity and assumptions about their life by others. How is this helpful in any way?

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** January 9, 2021 1:12 pm

SusanneH wrote:
Okay, now you have my ire up. And since we’ve lost the OP anyway, I’m going to say something about it.

Elle, I know you have something against the MOM board. However, I have NO idea how TO’s comments should have to be on the MOM board. Can you please tell me how comments about this bi vs gay has anything to do with keeping a MOM together? (Or anything like that) whew, this is getting tiresome!

It's taken me years to step up and speak my mind. I found Tangled's comments disrespectful to the straightspouses who come here confused and not knowing where to turn and who to turn to, on a board that's supposed to be for support.

If the OP has decided not to post again that's on the OP, and not for you to place blame.

As for me having something against the MOM board.... you're wrong But censure like Tangled's belongs in that board not on this one

Elle

**Posted by SusanneH** January 9, 2021 1:27 pm

Elle,

Could you please explain WHY it has to be on the MOM board. I don’t see what it has to do with trying to maintain a MOM. I’m not trying to challenge you, but I truly don’t get the connection.

oh, and I think you speak your mind very well. I don't see where you've held back before.

Last edited by SusanneH (January 9, 2021 1:29 pm)

**Posted by rekamc** January 9, 2021 1:49 pm

TangledOil wrote:
rekamc wrote:
TangledOil wrote:
Inundermyskin,

No, it was primarily directed at the one who stated he didn’t believe male bisexuality exists.
my apologies if I offended or hurt you in any way, shape or form, like I said earlier, it's my own personal belief and it doesn't mean anything.
Thank you. It’s my personal opinion that a stranger telling a new member that her husband is in fact gay isn’t helpful in anyway whatsoever. I would imagine it would send new members, in many instances, running for the hills. I have kept in touch with about a half dozen new members who left here short after they arrived because of the horrific negativity and assumptions about their life by others. How is this helpful in any way?

I was wrong to label her husband "gay" when she clearly stated that he is 'bi". Apologies for causing any sort of inconveniency to anyone in this thread/forum. My very first post in this particular topic/thread has now been deleted.

Last edited by rekamc (January 9, 2021 3:40 pm)

**Posted by SusanneH** January 9, 2021 2:50 pm

Lwh, no, I don’t even see where you could have offended me ;). Thanks anyway. I don’t get offended easily.

I do, however, question things I don’t understand. And, I did. I noticed you said “(TO) “telling the poster they had a sexual education dating from the 1950’s...”... She was talking to the members, not the poster, if I read your statement correctly.

And, I’m sorry if I’m dense on this, but I still don’t see HOW this has to be in the MOM section. Nothing was ‘dumped’ on the straight spouse at all. In fact, the poor OP was practically ignored after the start. All the dumping was on each other.

I sure see why the other places to post (FB, Mixed Orientation Marriages..., MMOMW, etc) ALL say to stay away from SSN because it is so negative. HERE IS PROOF.

I and many others are trying to save their marriages despite TGT (or TBT), and this forum should be helping those who are. We should be helping all straight spouses go in a direction that will be good for them...not just what we think it should be. We can only share what experiences we have and what we have learned. BUT, one thing I have learned, is that as humans, we don’t do well when we are TOLD what to do. It’s much better for suggestions, etc rather than saying “DO THIS” , DO THAT, etc.. make sense?

Can we all just ‘shake hands’ (virtually, like everything now 😉) and try to work together? We’re all on the same team you know. 😊

Last edited by SusanneH (January 9, 2021 2:55 pm)

**Posted by lily** January 9, 2021 3:08 pm

"..I found Tangled's comments disrespectful to the straight spouses who come here confused and not knowing where to turn and who to turn to, on a board that's supposed to be for support."

again I agree with Elle. When TO posts to a new poster I often wish she would stick to the MOM board - for the same reason.

Rekamc is again apologising to her. All he did was offer support to a new poster! you know what - bi/gay who cares what label you want to use it is still same sex attraction.

I would like to see those who wish to stay in a MOM stick to the MOM section and allow new posters to find their way there as they want to.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** January 9, 2021 4:30 pm

My comment in red

SusanneH wrote:
Elle,
Could you please explain WHY it has to be on the MOM board. I don’t see what it has to do with trying to maintain a MOM. I’m not trying to challenge you, but I truly don’t get the connection.Because she speaks from the position of being in a MOM.
In my opinion...if the original question had been asked on the MOM board then I would have no problem with it but it wasn't asked on that board

Elle

**Posted by SusanneH** January 9, 2021 5:26 pm

“Speaks from the position of being in a MOM”....
I don’t understand why that makes a difference. I do not see anywhere (and, I think I’ve mentioned this before) where it’s mentioned in the ‘rules’ that those who are in a MOM “stick to the MOM section”. I feel that just because I choose to try to save our marriage, I shouldn’t be banned from all other sections. That’s discrimination. (And, I do not “call discrimination”..never have!) I’m actually pretty easy going. I’d like to stay that way.
SO, until Admin tells me not to post anywhere except the MOM section, here I am!