OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / To stay or to go..

**Posted by Backpackerdad** January 2, 2021 1:23 pm

I am a straight man in a 15 year marriage. I really thought I had found my soul mate. My wife came out to me 3 months ago and have been struggling ever since. I feel totally alone and rejected. She has resisted my attempts to discuss divorce and seems to want to stay in the marriage at least til our 14 year old son graduates high school in three years. I have tried talking to her about how I do not think this is workable in the long run and do not want to put my life on hold. She says she wants me to keep wear my wedding ring and not be with other women. I have always been faithful to her but I can feel loneliness creeping into my mind. She has several new lesbian friends and I can't help but feel jealous and that she is just using me as support till she is ready to be fully out to her family and our kids. Am I crazy to even consider staying in this marriage? How have others approached deciding to stay or knowing when it is best of end the marriage.

- BackpackerDad

**Posted by inkundermyskin** January 2, 2021 1:53 pm

i am sorry for you.withour trying to offend anyone in this area of the forums ill say this. almost 10 months has passed. i still love her fiercely. i still hurt deeply.
your who situation is not relatable to me. she went on without me.
had my ex wanted to stay, initially i would have. i did try to talk her into it. if she called me now, my heart would run to her. the thing is my brain is finally at a point where its taken control. i said in another post that i feel that if we don't know what to do definitely, then that's our brain trying to defend out heart, and we really do know what to do. as much as our heart may not agree
i cant tell you how to stay, or if you even should. i know this for certain. speaking for myself,
what i know now about my ex. who she is.
what i THOUGHT we had and were to be
nothing can ever be the same. we cant truly forget, and for me it will always haunt me. whether we made it work or not. i hope you can get the advice here that you need.

**Posted by Backpackerdad** January 2, 2021 3:07 pm

Thanks to you both. I will repost in the Support section.