OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Merry Xmas to all straightspouses on my side of the world

**Posted by inkundermyskin** December 25, 2020 5:53 pm

"Not laughing,... I used up all my emotion and happiness trying to understand and get my partner to NOT want to do the things he wanted to do with men and I'm just about empty. I've got a fair bit of rye and analogical humor left... that I use with the masks I put on... So everyone thinks nothing's wrong.
And yeah, nah there's no fair trade in this Mindfuck because.,. well, nothing's fair about it"

i meant no offense. the sarcasm? came across of making light of a shitty situation. mindfuck is right. for 9 months i've basically kept from the people in my world thankfully we don't live in same town anymore.
the mask and suck you speak of....i don't know if there is a right or wrong way for any of use to cope. ill say this....i feel like the anger is going to hang around with me for awhile...
hope your xmas was tolerable.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** December 25, 2020 6:59 pm

inkundermyskin wrote:
... I meant no offense...... for 9 months i've basically kept from the people in my world thankfully we don't live in same town anymore..,.....i don't know if there is a right or wrong way.,....i feel like the anger is going to hang around with me for awhile...
hope your xmas was tolerable.

I was not offended truly.
If you feel the anger is going to be with you for awhile then the anger is the thing you should be working on. It will eat you úp if you don't put it in its place. Be stronger than the anger.
Xmas was good thanks

Elle

**Posted by TangledOil** December 25, 2020 10:23 pm

We had a really wonderful Christmas. There was some tension in the air last Christmas, but today was beautiful and magical. I have no complaints and I hope everyone is in a much better place next Christmas.

**Posted by OutofHisCloset** December 25, 2020 11:58 pm

I had a marvelous Christmas. Three years after leaving my closeted spouse. I have absolutely no regrets.

Last edited by OutofHisCloset (December 25, 2020 11:59 pm)

**Posted by clintonia** December 26, 2020 1:31 am

Ellexoh_nz wrote:
clintonia wrote:
Clintonia...i saw your post about ” ripping him to pieces" and want to give you Support but don't think it's appropriate on a MOM board because I'd just tell you to use that anger... If not now, conserve it for later... and add it to what you'll need if you decide not to stay

Elle

Hi Elle, just want to reply that I don't know what post you're referring to. I don't recall saying I want to "rip him to pieces", or posting in a MOM board (I try to stick with general discussion, but I find this site hard to navigate; possibly I did). I'm not in a relationship, haven't been in a long time, and wasn't ever in a MOM. If anything, I'd like to use my anger to educate others on why the straight person has a voice to acknowledge too. Can you clarify? Best

Last edited by clintonia (December 26, 2020 1:46 am)

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** December 26, 2020 2:28 am

TangledOil wrote:
We had a really wonderful Christmas. There was some tension in the air last Christmas, but today was beautiful and magical. I have no complaints and I hope everyone is in a much better place next Christmas.

It's actually....I feel anyway.... Totally calm about the future ät the moment

Elle

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** December 26, 2020 2:36 am

OutofHisCloset wrote:
I had a marvelous Christmas. Three years after leaving my closeted spouse. I have absolutely no regrets.

You've always seem à very clever woman, you exude confidence in your choice. I've often wanted to be as determined but our worlds are so totally different that I know I never will be.
Glad your Xmas was good OOHC

Elle

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** December 26, 2020 3:00 am

clintonia wrote:
.

Apologies I... Don't know whether it's being on my phone for the last few days or that I've just taken a wrong turn.. Somewhere!...and attributed some comment to you when it was somebody else.
As soon as I get back to my laptop I'll find where I weñt wrong and correct it.

Again,..apologies.. Elle

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** December 26, 2020 12:34 pm

Ellexoh_nz wrote:
As soon as I get back to my laptop I'll find where I weñt wrong and correct it. Again,..apologies.. Elle

I'm back on my laptop! and have backtracked to the post I replied to but still don't know exactly how I got the two names confused. A xmas sugar overdose perhaps and spending much of the last few days on the couch recovering from a silly (slightly-embarrassing for me) fall.

Elle

edited to fix a suger typo

Last edited by Ellexoh_nz (December 26, 2020 5:39 pm)

**Posted by OutofHisCloset** December 26, 2020 12:53 pm

Elle,
Like most people here, I started out wanting his disclosure not to mean the end of our marriage. It took me three years to experience life with him after disclosure, process and accept the reality of his sexuality and what it meant for me and our marriage, work up the courage to decide to leave, do an accounting of my financial resources to ensure I really could leave, tell him I wanted to leave, and to leave. So by the time I told him, I was sure. And since I left, I've experienced grief and pain, but not once after I left would I have gone back. So in that sense, I have no regrets.