OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / 1 out of 24

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** November 12, 2020 7:37 pm

I logged on today to find 3 pages of posts to read.

23 out of the 24 were comments from the thread where a gay man who consistently tells us he's no expert but is treated as if he has all the answers.

**Posted by TangledOil** November 12, 2020 9:38 pm

I really think it needs to be taken with a grain of salt. I find I need to walk away from it for my sanity. Every one is different. I do appreciate an occasional read and I appreciate Dutchman’s words too. I feel Dutchman's experience is somewhat closer to mine although not 100% of course.

Last edited by TangledOil (November 13, 2020 1:13 am)

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** November 12, 2020 11:25 pm

TangledOil wrote:
I really think it needs to be taken with a grain of salt,,,,,

Oh yes indeed Tangled,,, but it's ironic and while I can't begrudge anybody their need for Sean's advice there's not much for anybody who doesn't need it

I'm just a grouch today,,,lol

,

**Posted by TangledOil** November 13, 2020 1:15 am

Exactly... it’s okay if you’re grouchy today. I had a “whoa is me” kinda day which is exceptionally rare. Not sure why my day was as it was.

**Posted by SusanneH** November 13, 2020 5:06 pm

You mean you both get grouchy? I NEVER do!!!!!! 🤣🥴🤬🤪🤯🙄😬👿💩🤷‍♀️.
Take care!
(((HUGS)))

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** November 13, 2020 9:18 pm

SusanneH wrote:
You mean you both get grouchy? I NEVER do!!!!!!

I don't believe you....lol

**Posted by TangledOil** November 13, 2020 11:23 pm

Thank you Susanne. Today was a really good day. I feel back to my normal (relatively) carefree self. Very thankful it’s the weekend. I hope you have a great weekend as well.

Tangled

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** November 16, 2020 3:02 pm

Talking to the 'other' side

I see we have another gay man who has been accepted on the forum. Instead of putting this in his thread I'm adding this in here

And I wonder if he's also on an LGBTQ forum talking about his 'gay hurt'....talking to other LGBTQ men and women....or is it easier laying your life out for people to read on this forum because this is where the hurt spouses come and it might be too alienating to to say "yes I'm gay but.....we're hurting people with our gaslighting and dishonesty.Let's have a discussion about it"

I could have posted in Buck's thread but when saw he had a link to a TedX talk by Emily Reese (RIP) in an earlier post, one which I myself watched almost 4 years ago....I watched it again. This is an excerpt from that talk. In it she speaks directly to the straightspouse but she had this to say to the LGBTQ

" Be humble and do what you can to make amends. You can't go back and change anything"
" What we need to hear is true humility because we know it when we hear it"

So since we have another gay man on the Forum maybe he can tell us if he's, as well as opening up here (which is as we all know a soft place to fall amongst men & women who know how you feel)...also talking to the 'other' community too. Because that is where the change, more humility, has to happen as far as I'm concerned.

Elle

**Posted by OutofHisCloset** November 16, 2020 5:43 pm

He's a straightforward and out gay man who came here with a query about whether he should inform the wife of the married closeted man who duped him into an affair, and he's had it answered, so I don't think you need worry about him any more.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** November 16, 2020 6:18 pm

OutofHisCloset wrote:
He's a straightforward and out gay man who came here with a query about whether he should inform the wife of the married closeted man who duped him into an affair, and he's had it answered, so I don't think you need worry about him any more.

I'm not worried OOHC. I am curious if Buck had thought to ask the gay community for advice about his quandary