Dutchman,

Thank you for your long and thoughtful response.  It's really helpful.  Yes, I am becoming more aware of the fact that this is my husband's work to do with regards to what he really wants.  It's just where will I be when he finally is really clear?  I may have moved on or I may be still here.  I don't know.  I feel myself pulling away, but I know I still love him and I know he still loves me....just not sure what it means.  I am clear that I don't want to share my husband with someone else.  

Thank you again for being so insightful and helpful.