Legal rights for ex's new partner around my kids

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Posted by HRE1984
October 15, 2020 9:32 pm
#1

Did anyone take legal action when the ex started bringing the kids around their new partner? We made a verbal agreement during separation that we would discuss before introducing new partners but I know for a fact he has had him around our kids and introduced him as a "coworker". My 11 year old knows the truth but doesn't want to tell her dad. She is disgusted and not ok with it. I have not discussed with him that I know he is bringing the new guy around. I should also mention that we both legally agreed not to cohabitate for the duration he pays alimony yet he "secretly" lives with this guy on the days he doesn't have my kids. Friends and family think it's time to seek legal counsel again but I want to know it anyone has had success and what my rights are.

 
Posted by Rob
October 15, 2020 9:59 pm
#2

If you had it written for him there are things you can do to show cohabitation such as social media and time spent there.  It could require a private investigator and can be expensive.

Best you can do is create the best place for your kids when they are with you. Make them know your house is consistent, safe and they come first.   I always try to not listen to anything about the other house less I get upset.  Your kids don't have to like the partner only tolerate him.


"For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7
 
Posted by HRE1984
October 15, 2020 10:04 pm
#3

Thank you. I do think they know that about our home. It's just so unfair that a good mom who did nothing wrong has to miss out on half her kids lives while he continues to break rules and promises and has no consequences or accountability and yet the same privileges as me. Now I see my daughter suffering from his lies and when I hear they're meeting with his "friend" my stomach turns and my blood boils. I want his chosen lifestyle kept separate from our kids

Last edited by HRE1984 (October 15, 2020 10:05 pm)

 
Posted by Leslie77
October 16, 2020 9:29 am
#4

Hello HRE, 
I am sorry you are going through this.  

Based on my own experience and that of people I know, you will probably have no success at all if you go to court.  Family court judges are not concerned about personal lifestyles or any living arrangements you and your ex agreed to.  If your children are physically in danger - that's another story - but that doesn't sound like the case here. 

In my opinion, and, it's only an opinion, the best thing you can do is set an example for your children.  If you don't approve of co-habitation, don't do it yourself.  Always be there for your kids.  Don't bad-mouth the dad or his lover.  Children are smart and if your ex is a jerk, they will see that for themselves.  Be kind to others and if you're not religious, have some spiritually.  Hold your head high and tell yourself that this will pass.  Because it will.  One day your children will be grown and they won't remember what was said or done, but they will remember how the situation made them feel.  

I know it's hard but I think you will feel better in the long run if you try to not be angry.  Again, this is only my opinion. 

I wish you the best during this trying time.  

 

 
Posted by Ellexoh_nz
October 17, 2020 6:51 pm
#5

Leslie77 wrote:

 
Wonderful advice Leslie


KIA KAHA                       
 


 
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