OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Importance of success stories

**Posted by Dutchman** August 29, 2020 6:46 am

ShibaMama wrote:
How I wish a forum like this was around to help me find success stories, so I'll share some of what I/we've learned:

Thank you so much for sharing your success story! Like you said, it can be so important to also read about these positive experiences.
At the time, after the coming-out of my wife, I was also yearning to read about some positive examples where couples made it work, but the articles on internet and in the media were usually about the gay/lesbian spouse find his/her "true self" (resulting in divorce) and how wonderful that all was...

Concerning the straight spouses side of the case it's to be expected that the failed or problematic MOM stories dominate the internet, after all: why write, when all goes well?
Sadly this creates a distorted picture of how MOM's can (also) work out. This in turn can be very disheartening and may sometimes be a reason people feel they have to choose for paths they wouldn't normally/actually want. Like opening up the relation as a desperate measure to save the marriage.

I add a link to your story, because IMO it's very relevant to this "Strategies for MOM's" section also.
https://straightspouse.boardhost.com/viewtopic.php?pid=25066#p25066

**Posted by TangledOil** August 29, 2020 11:15 am

Thank you for sharing ShibaMama’s story here, Dutchman. I was so happy a few days ago when I read her introductory story. I agree with you... it’s equally important to share success stories although I’m very well aware if things are going well people are not spending their time here posting about it.

**Posted by ShibaMama** August 29, 2020 8:23 pm

Hi All! Thank you for your kind words. We have worked really hard to get where we are. Granted, my situation is different because there was no secret of his orientation. Don't get me wrong, it is a normal relationship so we have periods that we forget to keep ourselves and our marriage honesty and healthy. But we make time to get back there again. And we recommit to our marriage expectations.

I found this forum because an acquaintance had discovered her husband was gay and came here for support. I was curious, as I am in a disclosed MOM, about what I could find for additional resources and people like me who make it work. So thanks! Seriously hit me up if you have questions! I'm not on everyday as I am a teacher with 3 kids under 6, but this journey is made easier if you surround yourself with people who understand and support your full relationship.

**Posted by Dutchman** September 3, 2020 9:50 am

ShibaMama wrote:
Seriously hit me up if you have questions! I'm not on everyday as I am a teacher with 3 kids under 6, but this journey is made easier if you surround yourself with people who understand and support your full relationship.

I know the problem, having a demanding job also... If I only had time... However for me no young children to take care of anymore, arguably the perks of getting older.

But I look forward to hear more from you. The specific questions (and maybe doubts?) you might have had entering a MOM, the way you both worked through it. I sure hope you want to share some more of your life and experiences.