Lynne,
I completely understand how living in someone's closet closes you off from others. The three years I spent in my ex's closet was excruciating and isolating. I felt as if I was being dishonest with everyone (because I was!), and I hated it. I felt as if I were walking around under a bell jar, or with shutters behind my eyes, so that no one could see into me. What I was living with at home was the dominant fact of my life, and I walked around pretending it wasn't. The lie dominated everything simply by having to deny the truth.
That experience made me decide that to live truthfully is not just to blurt out to everyone the truth, but living truthfully is characterized by a pervasive feeling that I am living without artifice and lies, even if I am not talking about my closeted ex. I need to be able to feel that if the subject were to arise, or that if I need to bring it up, that I feel free to do so. I don't hide the truth any more, although I don't tell it to everyone. I have not gotten close to anyone new romantically, and don't know if I ever will, so it hasn't been an issue there.
Last edited by OutofHisCloset (August 21, 2020 2:03 pm)