OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / My anniversary

**Posted by OJECPOMCO** April 28, 2020 10:15 am

Hi all, hope we are all keeping safe?
Today is my 8th wedding anniversary, and I am moody—varying kinds of emotions in my brain.
I have moved out, but he is still begging me to come back.
I am supposed to apply for an annulment. That is the first step before I head to file for official divorce from civil authorities. I have stalled this filing for three months now.

Whenever I remember what I have to do, I have this dreadful feeling in my stomach. I have just tired of how my once bubbling life turned out.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** April 28, 2020 10:10 pm

OJEC....hello! Moving out must be a relief to have that space between you....especially if he's begging you to come back
I hope you have good friends/family as sounding boards as you navigate this part of your new life
Remember your breathing....your deep, cleansing breathing

Elle

**Posted by lily** May 1, 2020 9:15 am

Hi Ojec - I think sometimes when we stall doing something there's a reason for it, maybe in this case the reason is that you are worried as to how he will behave when it comes to divorce? While he is still begging you to come back he isn't divorcing you. Divorce is more awful than you imagine, you get to see your STBX when he isn't trying to charm you, it just is horrible and once done is done - you can't have a second go at it. So yes, prepare carefully, you have your future to consider.

wishing you all the best, lily

**Posted by Choosing Me** July 26, 2020 7:50 am

Hello Ojecpomco, This is my first post here. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’ve stalled on the divorce for 14 months I dont regret it. Stalling has given me time to heal a little before I embark on the difficult task of divorce. I still have so much more self work to do. Mostly, stalling my eminant divorce has made me sure with no reason to question myself that after 25 years of marriage it is the right thing for me to do. My H says, “Why am I doing this to us.” My live was so happy before this.

Wishing you well.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** July 26, 2020 3:27 pm

Choosing Me wrote:
Hello Ojecpomco, This is my first post here. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’ve stalled on the divorce for 14 months I dont regret it. Stalling has given me time to heal a little before I embark on the difficult task of divorce. I still have so much more self work to do. Mostly, stalling my eminant divorce has made me sure with no reason to question myself that after 25 years of marriage it is the right thing for me to do. My H says, “Why am I doing this to us.” My live was so happy before this.

Wishing you well.

Choosing....welcome. I've had the initial foray into finding a lawyer, telling my story, thinking about leaving....what will I do, where will I go, can I be alone, what does a relationship-identity-less life feel like? I feel like I shouldn't leave til I'm strong enough in myself to really know it's the time to leave....but also know that is probably a stalling tactic

Elle

**Posted by OJECPOMCO** August 2, 2020 11:44 am

Choosing Me wrote:
Hello Ojecpomco, This is my first post here. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’ve stalled on the divorce for 14 months I dont regret it. Stalling has given me time to heal a little before I embark on the difficult task of divorce. I still have so much more self work to do. Mostly, stalling my eminant divorce has made me sure with no reason to question myself that after 25 years of marriage it is the right thing for me to do. My H says, “Why am I doing this to us.” My live was so happy before this.

Wishing you well.

Thanks Choosing Me. STalling has helped me get to a more stable frame of mind. I am not there yet but I am getting there. Key is that I do not want to second guess any decision I make.

**Posted by BirdSolveig** August 3, 2020 2:20 pm

Today would be my 35th anniversary too. I don't like to go back to those memories but I do. I've been considering relocating from Michigan to be nearer to my sister in Florida. One of the main reasons is to get farther away from him. We both live in the same small town where we met. When he moved back here 10 years ago, my thought was that I would never be happy again. Now I found he has a Facebook page for his feminine identity with pictures of "herself". I don't plan on going back to look at it anytime soon. I think the autogynephilia label fits him very well. When I saw him in church a year ago, he looked like he was trying to be a 20 year old woman when in fact he was a 70 year old man.