OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / LGBT ... Q?

**Posted by Leslie77** July 7, 2020 4:49 pm

I am sorry if this is a dumb question but I can't find the answer. This is just for my personal knowledge. I am not making judgment on anyone.

In the abbreviation - LGBTQ - I am not sure what the Q stands for. I always thought "Queer" but then I was reading the description of this forum and now I'm thinking it's "Questioning'?

Also, I am not sure what the definition of "Queer" is. My STBX husband's female heath care professional, who encouraged him to address his potential gayness and dress up like a woman, is a self-described "Queer", but I do not know what that is.

**Posted by SusanneH** July 7, 2020 4:53 pm

Thanks for asking. I've wondered, too. I've seen it both ways. If it's "queer", it doesn't seem to add anything to what is there, but "questioning" does add to the list. It's the only thing I can think of ;).

Hopefully someone will actually know. Maybe it's both.

Last edited by SusanneH (July 7, 2020 4:54 pm)

**Posted by ThisTooShallPass** July 7, 2020 5:38 pm

My understanding is that many use Queer because it's a more general term, it's not gender specific, and it's a way to "take it back" from being a derogatory term.

**Posted by OneDayAtATime** July 8, 2020 3:05 am

I think the word queer describes people who are not very strongly one or the other gender, and not necessarily attracted to just one gender. I have a friend who describes himself as queer. In the past he has dated both men and women, for him it’s more about the connection than the gender I think. But I think he also feels both feminine and masculine sides to himself.

He’s really a wonderfulMy open and honest person, and his friendship has helped a lot as I navigate the pain and betrayal from my GIDH... I weirdly enough have a lot of LGBTQ friends, (my GIDH has always been homophobic) and they’ve all been really supportive and helpful with my questions figuring out my marriage.

**Posted by walkbymyself** July 8, 2020 4:58 am

Actually, on the subject of terminology, I have a question. Am I the only one who has a visceral reaction to the phrase "the gender you were assigned at birth" instead of, say, your "birth gender" or "biological gender" or some other phrase that isn't quite as, I don't know, accusatory ...?

Somehow it always sets my teeth on edge.

**Posted by Lyonene** July 8, 2020 10:34 am

"Am I the only one who has a visceral reaction to the phrase "the gender you were assigned at birth""

I refuse to play the verbal gymnastics that go along with the mental gymnastics that such thinking even derived from. Assigned? As if looking down after birth a penis is somehow scrutinized and there's a decision to call it either male or female?

Queer essentially means "non-normative," and can signify a philosophical and political stance against normalization, as well as a stance against sexual and gender orientation. Thus why most "queer" claimers are actually straight kids with pink hair that crawled out of the Tumblr sewer.

LGB is as far as this old Gen Xer will take it. T is not an orientation, Q means "I want attention, I'm special!"

**Posted by OutofHisCloset** July 8, 2020 12:05 pm

Lyonene,
You have conveyed my sentiments exactly.
I will just add that the phrase "gender assigned at birth" can't stand even by its own logic: a child's biological sex is known long before birth through ultrasounds and various forms of genetic sampling.

**Posted by Lyonene** July 8, 2020 1:02 pm

"biological sex is known long before birth through ultrasounds and various forms of genetic sampling"

Too true. I had my last child 5 yrs ago. We knew at 3 months into the pregnancy what his sex was. Strangely, I don't recall having a discussion or a debate as to what we were going to "assign" or "call" the revealed penis. Clearly, we needed woke training.

Conflating as many unrelated thread topics as possible into a tapestry of controversial #GenderWooWoo is clearly the thing to do.

"How many fingers am I holding up, Winston?"

Last edited by Lyonene (July 8, 2020 1:04 pm)

**Posted by lily** July 8, 2020 3:27 pm

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex, Questioning.

Queer means having same sex attraction, doesn't it?

The latest I heard is that we straight women are referred to as the menstruators.

The way they carry on, it's reality-bending theft isn't it. why this need to belittle straight women?

**Posted by Lyonene** July 8, 2020 3:42 pm

"Queer means having same sex attraction, doesn't it?"

It used to. Originally it was used as a pejorative. The word queer was used typically as a way of identifying someone of LGB orientation in a negative way. It morphed into being embraced by some LGB people in order to remove the power of the word as a pejorative (think the "we're here, we're queer" chant). It's now become a catch-all term to describe the countless ways (with more being invented daily) people choose to reject binary categories of gender and sexual orientation outside commonly understood hetero and LGB parameters.

Last edited by Lyonene (July 8, 2020 3:46 pm)