Imagine trying to commit to a permanent relationship with such big questions and concerns.  How would you ever feel comfortable and safe with a partner who you weren't sure of their sexuality?  Would you be constantly worried they were going to leave you for a same-sex partner?  

I can tell you first hand that it's awful.  

If a person hasn't committed yet..  break up and move on..   my goodness, there are so many other amazing heterosexual people in the world. 

Here's my two cents, for what it's worth: I'm sick to death of people who have ignorant opinions and believe they qualify as experts.  Gottleib strikes me that way in this response.  

Reading the poster's letter, I know for myself all kinds of alarms are going off.  I don't for an instant believe when he claims he's never been with a man -- maybe it's true, but I doubt it.  I doubt anybody states on their dating app profile that they've bi, if they've never had a same-sex experience.  And whether he's bi for real?  Again, they all say that.  He gives cryptic and evasive responses to direct questions.

So maybe in a normal relationship, Gottlieb's advice would be sound -- communication is always better.  The problem here is that the letter ends with a question that Gottlieb hasn't answered -- how much should she invest in this relationship with "those inconvenient truths that might very well be on the horizon" -- she knows in her heart she doesn't want a relationship with a gay man.  I don't think the therapist hears that part.