OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / I feel so lonely...

**Posted by Carolagatti** February 11, 2020 5:22 am

Gonzo2000. Thank you so much for the words of encouragement. I have never felt this sad and lonely in all my life. It means so much to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** February 11, 2020 12:48 pm

Carolagatti wrote:
Just needed some words of encouragement.......

I'm going to step away somewhat from the advice to "be gentle with yourself".....and say " praying will only get you so far. It's in your hands to change this" Your 'room-mate' won't change anything, you've allowed him to become comfortable, thinking you won't leave.....which is a good space to be in because he won't be expecting you to leave.
If you have talked to nobody about this....somebody else' secret that you're keeping....that's where you need to start. Family, friends, a counselor?

It's there, inside you, the strength to leave this man you're allowing to live the way he wants.....and not the way you deserve. Step by step, day by day. No matter how long it takes...if you're going forward you're not standing still. As long as you're standing still nothing will change

Elle

**Posted by lily** February 11, 2020 3:21 pm

"...many found straight guys that could fully appreciate them in ways they never enjoyed before"

This, UserNada.

It's the same the other way round too. A straight woman is really different to a bisexual. It is profound. When I look at a bisexual woman playing the role of wife I can sense it is empty calories on offer and I know from my own long experience with a gay spouse how the lack of nutrition or emotional sustenance stacks up.

This is why I maintain a straight needs a straight. We need someone who is into us as much as we are into them.

Self care is good, it helps to ease the emotional deficit - just this little thing or that, it adds up. even if it is I am going to spend this afternoon curled up on my bed because I hurt too much to do anything, it is soothing. taking charge of your own emotional well being again - to a straight that is like the end of the marriage but it is survival kicking in.

**Posted by Rob** February 11, 2020 5:23 pm

Carolagatti,

I've been through this know how horrible it is...i wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy..i try to post here to offer some words of encouragement.

I started on the bottom in complete tell and can say im away from my GX and doing so much better. What i found was I was good company to myself..i did not huet myself. Sometimes we need to be the lone wolf.

On the subject of having a gay or bisexual spouse..i could not do it..the stress and anxiety caused me to,physically shake..was she meeting a friend to shop or ha e sex..why should I have to wonder?

Small,baby steps..always forward..