OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Drag Queen Shows - Your Thoughts, Experiences, Opinions

**Posted by Leslie77** February 2, 2020 6:24 pm

Hello, I am new to the network and I have a question to pose.

What are people's thoughts, experiences, opinions regarding Drag Queen Shows?

The reason I ask is because my soon to be ex (cross-dressing husband) began his female identity issues around the same time that he began an obsession with Drag Queen Shows. I saw him once looking at a Drag Queen with what appeared to be love and longing in his eyes.

I live in a liberal community that frequently hosts these types of shows and bills them as "fun family entertainment". They don't seem so fun to me. Are the shows an open door to invite questioning men/women in to see what it's like? Are all/most of the attendees gay? (The events are frequently held in gay bars.) Are there other activities going on? Someone told me once that the shows attract questioning married men who, in turn, meet gay men for hook-ups.

I have heard that lesbians object to these types of shows. Personally, as a straight female, I find them offensive. Why are men allowed to dress up cartoonishly as women? To me, it's like wearing blackface. Why are these shows presented as mainstream entertainment?

Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated as I do not understand the fascination and/or purpose of these shows.

Thank you.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** February 2, 2020 6:58 pm

Leslie77 wrote:
......Why are men allowed to dress up cartoonishly as women?.....

Welcome to the Forum Leslie I used to have plenty of questions about the things my partner was doing, and why, til I realised it was his choice. I rarely question him these days.

So as for your question...they do it because there's something in them that wants to express themselves this way.
Individual choice is a powerful tool, and one you yourself possess

Elle

**Posted by Leslie77** February 3, 2020 11:29 am

Thanks, Ellexoh. That is insightful.

I think I still have a lot of anger regarding everything that has happened. Yesterday I saw an advertisement in our local weekly newspaper for a drag queen show, and I felt hurt once again.

I like your words and I am going to save them: "Individual choice is a powerful tool, and one you yourself possess.".

Thank you again.

**Posted by HurtAndConfused** February 3, 2020 12:30 pm

I used to be open to drag shows, not that I used to frequent them but I had gone to one before. I had a friend who went to a show as part of her birthday celebration. But since I found out that my GID husband has affairs with trans women...honestly now I am repulsed by it. It's probably due to the rejection and the fact that he chooses them over me and his family. So it hurts to say the least. Especially since they try so hard to be what I really am...I'm just confused by it all...

**Posted by OutofHisCloset** February 3, 2020 2:22 pm

I understand that there's a segment of the trans community that now is attacking drag shows as transphobic. As the exaggerated caricature of femininity and woman of a drag show is so often indistinguishable from the exaggerated caricatures of woman often exhibited by transwomen, I can imagine they don't like the uncomfortable reminder that they, too, are males in women's clothing.

**Posted by walkbymyself** February 3, 2020 6:17 pm

Leslie, that’s a great observation about the black face comparison.

**Posted by Abby** February 3, 2020 6:59 pm

Why would I want to go to a drag show? Bring on the male strippers!

**Posted by Lyonene** February 4, 2020 12:56 pm

I've always considered it akin to blackface.

**Posted by OutofHisCloset** February 4, 2020 4:45 pm

Aye. It's "woman face." And that, by the way, is the crux of the trans objections now to drag--they believe drag performers are suggesting that they also are engaging in "woman face." Which frankly they are. Woman is not a costume to be put on. At least drag performers realize this, and the pretense is clear to all.
That said, some men who are putting their toes in the trans waters are drawn to drag as an initially "safe" way to try out putting on the trans woman costume.

**Posted by Lyonene** February 5, 2020 8:57 pm

OutofHisCloset wrote:
... I can imagine they don't like the uncomfortable reminder that they, too, are males in women's clothing.

My brain couldn't help the immediate snap to wolves in sheep's clothing.