MomofFour,
I believe that you have idenitified the crux of the matter right here--
.
I now believe that you couldn’t feel the same passion for me, no matter how hard you and I tried. I believe your extramarital “quest for validation” was your expression of sexual desires you had long suppressed. You didn’t initially choose men because you couldn’t get women, and you didn’t continue to act out with men because you hated me or were angry with me for my adultery, my adultery and the loss of your parents gave you the out to explore and unleash the instincts and discovered a side of you that you are now trying to suppress again, at first to hold our marriage together, but maybe to hold your public and personal self image together.
And I also believe that what you've said here speaks for many of us--
I sensed for years that there was something missing, but I thought I could look past it or fix it somehow, if I just became better. I blamed myself. I kept thinking I would figure it out. I had no idea about your desires to have sex with men. I now know my efforts were futile. But the years of trying unsuccessfully have been devastating to my feelings about myself as a woman. I was not enough and was never enough and could not ever be enough to inspire you to show me the passion I longed to experience, the desire I longed to feel from my husband.
Last edited by OutofHisCloset (January 23, 2020 10:52 pm)
