OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Dating a Transgender man and struggling

**Posted by DatingTrans** December 30, 2019 5:08 pm

Thank you all for your input. Given some serious soul searching I have decided to leave my relationship. He is a wonderful man but the drama is too much for me.

**Posted by Whirligig** December 31, 2019 2:13 am

I'm sure it wasn't an easy decision but I have no doubt your choice will prove to be more emotionally healthy for you. Best wishes to you.

**Posted by OutofHisCloset** December 31, 2019 11:12 am

"make no commitment to a person going through a major life change"

So much this! After my experience staying for three years after my now ex revealed he believed he was "a woman in a man's body," I have decided that when someone up and decides to tell you they have discovered they have "same sex attraction" or are bisexual or are trans, the ONLY healthy choice for the straight partner is to say, "OK. You need to figure yourself out. And I can't help you do that. So we'll have to separate, legally (or divorce)." As Sean once said, "You can't help your husband be gay."

**Posted by control** December 31, 2019 10:17 pm

I absolutely agree, you can’t help a spouse figure themselves out related to TGT, sexual orientation, etc. get out sooner than later for your own best interest. I’ve never heard of a situation yet where the couple’s relationship improved or TGT got better, or a trans became “not a trans”.

And worse than the sexual part of all this, in my case and many cases I’ve followed, the gay or trans spouse became angrier, more vindictive, and just showed so much more lack of character as time marched on! The resentment & anger just takes over many times. That’s when I came to realize reality about my GX. The mask had come off. I did not even know this person I’d spent most of my life with.

Best Wishes.