OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Not Sure How to Improve Sex (Intercourse)

**Posted by jls200** December 18, 2019 9:29 am

Hi all - I'm super new to this forum, so my apologies if I'm posting something that's been addressed a billion times. I couldn't find anything that spoke to my specific concern.

I'm a straight cis gendered woman who's been dating a trans man (FtM) for about six months now, and I'm absolutely in love with him - he's amazing, best partner I've ever had, but I'm struggling to find a way to really connect in the bedroom. Since I've only ever been with straight cis gendered men, my idea of really great intercourse is being able to look into each other's eyes while both of you are enjoying stimulation, which has been incredibly difficult for us, and while I realize I should probably just get over it, it doesn't feel like "making love" (so corny, I know) if we can't both be in that loving, intimate, eye-contact moment at the same time. He's very hesitant about anything "experimental" (including a strap on), so i don't want to push him or make him uncomfortable... does anyone have any advice here?

**Posted by Whirligig** December 18, 2019 10:09 am

Honestly? Maybe try Reddit or something? Or possibly the MOM section. Most of the people who post here are straight spouses who have been traumatized by their gay in denial spouses/significant others. Also, it's probably quibbling but it's not possible to change sex. You are in a lesbian relationship. Not sure how straight that is to be frank. Best wishes on finding what you're looking for.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** December 18, 2019 1:35 pm

Whirligig wrote:
Honestly? Maybe try Reddit or something? Or possibly the MOM section. Most of the people who post here are straight spouses who have been traumatized by their gay in denial spouses/significant others. Also, it's probably quibbling but it's not possible to change sex. You are in a lesbian relationship. Not sure how straight that is to be frank. Best wishes on finding what you're looking for.

The MOM section is not a healthy sex help board. We've been through as much of a hell on earth as everyone here, I resent the implication that the MOM board is where Jls200 should ask her questions

**Posted by Whirligig** December 18, 2019 3:15 pm

Not my intent, E, so sorry if I gave offence. I just meant the MOM section is meant for people wanting to stay in mixed relationships. Their situation probably doesn't qualify, really, but on the assumption they were serious and not a troll account I thought the MOM board might have been a better fit. Again, no offence meant. I know you've experienced a lot of pain.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** December 18, 2019 8:43 pm

Whirligig wrote:
Not my intent, E, so sorry if I gave offence. I just meant the MOM section is meant for people wanting to stay in mixed relationships. Their situation probably doesn't qualify, really, but on the assumption they were serious and not a troll account I thought the MOM board might have been a better fit. Again, no offence meant. I know you've experienced a lot of pain.

Thanks for the explanation Whirli. There are straightspouses on the MOM board who hurt just as much as those who have decided not to continue with their marriages/partnerships. And while I'm not about to give advice on the sex-life of a woman in love with a FtM....ick....there is probably a MOM-person on the Forum who would.
Or Jls200 could contact one of the real Yahoo MOM groups which, I believe, deal more with couples