OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Before...

**Posted by StraightSpouse1979** August 21, 2019 10:53 am

Has any wives of MTF husbands think to themselves, what did people do decades ago? Before this was all so common place, were people miserable or just dealt with things? I feel like it is the cool thing to do now to say well i want to be a man or I want to be a woman and it is like welcomed with open arms and be damned who is in the wake of this revelation? There are days i want to be a nomad and travel the country with what i can carry and a bus pass but i have a daughter who I love and that would be irresponsible so i let it go and continue my life. Am i being over dramatic and unreasonable and comparing apples to oranges? Is it wrong to think well you married me so now suck it up buttercup because you could have not even dated me, got engaged, got married, had a child all while knowing this was lurking there inside one day to come free and smash my life into pieces?

**Posted by morpheus** August 21, 2019 12:37 pm

I understand your anger. Sometimes i feel the same. From the first day i ask herself in my mind only one question - "What have you done". Sometimes i'm asking myself, if i could live with her, if i were gay. I don't know. I guess, i just won't be in that situation. I think that i'm reasonable person, so the risk i take is that i could stand. In various time i become ready in my mind for many things, including childbirth, personal problems in life, problems with health, financial struggle, i even prepared myself for a possibility of death or terminal illness. It comes naturaly with age.
But this situation is blowing my mind. I could do nothing, it's not under my control, everything is the same, but at the same time - it's totally different.
Answering your question, people in last century lived in more conservative society. I don't think that you would want your wife to end her life with a mental disorder. Mine was going crazy. She felt really bad and guilty all the time. Just we were looking for reasons not were problem was.
I'm in doubt if i could sacrifice for the family. I wish i could tell that being gay i would love her and pretend to be a good husband and father for our kids, but i'm in doubt. I guess, i can not imagine what's it like to be homosexual and live with heterosexual.
So families decades ago didn't live well, i guess. Suppresed by society norms women and men couldn't do anything but pretend to be living a good life. I guess there were many mental problems from that or even worse.

**Posted by Paraceleus** August 21, 2019 12:43 pm

'Molly houses.'

I've been reading.

**Posted by OutofHisCloset** August 21, 2019 12:50 pm

There have been cross dressing men and autogynephiles for a long time. But yes, it's a fad now.

https://weirdnj.com/stories/mystery-history/a-governor-in-queens-clothing/

**Posted by a_dads_straight_journey** August 22, 2019 2:02 pm

I had a paper route when I was a young teen (1973) and I would read the paper when waiting for my next drop, often Ann Landers, and every few months there we would be a woman seeking advice after discovering her husband cross dressed or was gay. It’s always been there, but now it’s featured in the mainstream.

**Posted by OutofHisCloset** August 28, 2019 9:30 pm

Wikipedia is absolutely NOT reliable. It's crowd sourced, and many articles are policed by those with special interests. Especially on this subject.

**Posted by Abby** August 29, 2019 5:03 pm

When women passed as men historically I am not sure how much was a desire to escape the rigid roles expected for their gender; how much was sexual attraction to women and how much was of economic necessity. They might have rued that they were born female but I don't think any claimed to be really be males born in the wrong body.

Not only were women expected to secure their futures by marriage but being married meant being pregnant much of the time and periodically risking one's life from childbirth complications. Jo was the favorite in "Little Women" for a reason.

I am so glad to be part of the generation that saw so many opportunities open for women. Boys now seem to be the ones struggling to find their paths. To me it seems that more of them identify as female than girls identifying as male but perhaps it only looks that is because they are more photographed and celebrated.
They have embraced the "sex object" status we fought against!

**Posted by Whirligig** August 29, 2019 7:54 pm

I would agree with Abby. I would also imagine many of the examples, even from the Wikipedia article and its links, could have been intersex individuals. It's not like many of these people had access to the science we take for granted today for explanations either. As for proof? Good luck finding primary sources and interpreting them correctly!

A few of the articles denoted vocations impossible to pursue without the approved gender. A disguise seems like a natural outgrowth to me if for example, you were passionate about medicine, but unable to attend medical school as a woman.

I don't doubt some of the referenced individuals would be considered transgender by the modern definition but a lot of it seems thin on provided evidence and more of a desperate attempt to make something fit a hypothesis they support for 'legitimacy'. I found a lot of this particular article to be agenda driven although a few of the articles linked were more balanced and in context historically.

Edited to add that I always liked Amy myself.

Last edited by Whirligig (August 29, 2019 8:03 pm)

**Posted by DanielleisDizzy** September 2, 2019 1:16 pm

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Last edited by DanielleisDizzy (September 2, 2019 1:27 pm)

**Posted by TwistingInTheWind** September 10, 2019 6:08 pm

I am see a LOT more MTF trans than FTM - Why do so many men want to BE women?
I, too, see a lot of this HOTMESS as a fad and like many faddish social phnomenoms (sp) I do think it will energize a vigorous backlash.
"Change, real change takes time" RBG
I further have the distinct feeling that our civilization is unraveling at the seams. The climate change, famines, epidemics and just plain Mother Nature will triumph in the end.
What we are seeing now "Just ain't NATURAL" - ME