not sure if you realise we can't reply where you have written your post so I am reposting it here

"My wife just disclosed to me after 12 years of marriage ( tomorrow is our anniversary)and being together 14. She is 30 years my junior. And two kids ,that she is 90% attracted to women with the 10% attraction to me. What a blow to the gut! We have had our ups and downs in our relationship. Her drug addiction ( we beat together) my anger and abuse issues. Separation  , reconciliation, an affair ( me) and a year and a half of couples counseling. I for the most part thought things were good and I was giving her time to really sort out her feelings about me/us. I never dreamed this would be the outcome. I knew from the friendship start that she had dated women and men But she told me that she was more interested in a relationship with me than anything else. I believed that to be true because we were the best of friends. We faced other hardships in our marriage ( financial, death, relocation,) and always stood together.i don’t know what to think now. She says all the time “I love you more than you think” we are still living together we sleep in the same bed but I miss my friend and I am scared for the future. My kids are 10 and 7 and I fear for their stability. This is all they have known. ( mom and dad). She says she won’t date or anything until we are in a good place. Not sure what that means. I am not in a good place I am questioning everything and I know I’m depressed but keep pushing. She told me she’s had 8 months to process this so she seems ambivalent to my emotions. I told her I didn’t want to leave that I didn’t have the energy. I really don’t know what to do or think."

I think what she means by being in a good place is where you will not complain.  

The gay community really like their percentages don't they.  straights tend to be 100% about their partner.

Posting here was a good thing to do.  After you've read a bit you start to see the similarities between our stories.

Be good to yourself at all times.

wishing you all the best, Lily