OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Changing "Discussion area for only those who remain committed" to....

**Posted by lily** January 30, 2019 3:09 pm

what about 'Discussion area only for people who want to remain in their marriage'

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** January 30, 2019 3:31 pm

lily wrote:
what about 'Discussion area only for people who want to remain in their marriage'

"Discussion area for people still in their marriage" ??....with no mention of "want"

Last edited by Ellexoh_nz (January 30, 2019 3:33 pm)

**Posted by lily** January 30, 2019 4:03 pm

all straight spouses are still in their marriage by literal definition.

I like the word want. It's not committed, you can always change your mind, but for the here and now it expresses the desire not to be advised to get out of the MOM.

Wasn't that what you wanted?

Last edited by lily (January 30, 2019 4:04 pm)

**Posted by OutofHisCloset** January 30, 2019 5:55 pm

or..."Discussion group for those who are working to stay in their marriages"?
There has to be an indication that this section is to be distinguished from those who "find themselves in a MOM" and those who, after finding this fact out, wish to try to accommodate themselves to their new reality. As you say, Lily, this, too, would allow for people to change their mind, but protect them from unwanted advice.

**Posted by Duped** January 30, 2019 6:06 pm

I think it should stay as it is and remain for the purpose it was created for, to support those who are committed to remaining in a MOM. If that no longer fits the people who originally wanted it, they should consider moving away from it, not changing it as they change their outlook.

Last edited by Duped (January 30, 2019 6:06 pm)

**Posted by Mrs Beardsley** February 7, 2019 5:43 pm

Ellexoh, maybe a group for those who are stuck or trappped in their marriages as opposed to desiring to remain married? Is that maybe sort of what you were thinking of?

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** February 7, 2019 8:12 pm

Mrs Beardsley wrote:
Ellexoh, maybe a group for those who are stuck or trappped in their marriages as opposed to desiring to remain married? Is that maybe sort of what you were thinking of?

Kind of...yes. I know that there are too many types of r'ships to have a board for every kind and as I see many (still in their r'ship/marriage) posting on the main boards....I wondered if they were put off posting on the MOM board because of the way it was worded. And the aforementioned resemblance to the Yahoo group, which I get the feeling is more of a "yes I'm committed to my gay/bi spouse and I'm staying with them" group.

As I move further through this *storm*...I am starting to feel that I might not belong in either group. After responding to a message by a member who seems happy (wtf!) in a possibly-open r'ship...and wanting to scream "don't do it!" I'm in a quandary as to where I fit in.

!@#$

Last edited by Ellexoh_nz (February 7, 2019 8:12 pm)

**Posted by Brian's Girl** June 25, 2019 4:21 pm

Hello All! I have not checked in or posted in several months. Some of that is because I felt like there were not many on here in my corner. I love my husband, he loves me. We celebrated 28 years of marriage in May and are committed to staying in this marriage. There was never a question on my part but Brian thought I would tell him to leave. I have known on some level that He had same sex attraction but it remained under the table because of our church ministry and our children. The children are grown and we have retired from active ministry and now we are claiming our lives as our own. No one else has to understand it. I just don't want to be criticized and questioned for my choice to remain with the man that I love and am committed to. We have been through too much in our 28 years together to walk away now. It has been 2 years since my husbnd "came out" to me and we are living life on our terms and what works for us. I wish the best for you All as well!

**Posted by Whirligig** June 25, 2019 11:26 pm

Just wanted to say while my experience hasn't been the same I am very glad for you that you have been able to make it work and are happy. I'm sure there are others who appreciate a perspective with a positive outcome. It's tough to commiserate when you have a poor experience but I am happy not everyone does. Hopefully that makes sense and sounds supportive in the way it was meant. Everyone has a different journey with this for sure. Best wishes and continued success for you and Brian.