OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Feeling Lost

**Posted by lily** June 19, 2019 6:45 pm

oh, it didnt feel to me like there was any sense of invalidation in your post, just a sense of support.

My ex had a girlfriend before me, it was a 3 year living together relationship, I think the recognition they were both bisexuals was a bit of a passion-killer in the relationship and it broke up when she met a straight man and she married and had children with him, but they, she and my ex have formed a life-long alliance. The results for the straight man she married were very painful.

Sjloo sounds like a nice woman who has what it takes to make her way forward, and I wish her the best.

Last edited by lily (June 19, 2019 6:54 pm)

**Posted by Whirligig** June 19, 2019 8:54 pm

Sjloo,

I'm glad my comments were useful to you. I think asking diametrically-opposed type questions really helps to clarify what you want. At least if you are honest with yourself. I couldn't lie to myself about what I wanted and how that just couldn't happen with the person in my life. The feelings for them weren't any different. I loved them. I wanted them to love me. I wanted it to be different. Still do. But I'm just not built that way. I need someone who loves me best. So much so that they don't want anyone else. And I need to feel the same way about them. I may never have that but I am not willing to settle for less. I made my decisions based on my truth. It's the only comfort I have in this mess.

You seem to be forming a pretty good idea of what will work for you. I doubt the couple's therapy will hurt as long as you go into it with some clarity on your own needs. Don't lose sight of those trying to please him. It's easy enough to do when you love someone.

**Posted by walkbymyself** June 20, 2019 11:18 am

OOHC, I totally get where you're coming from here.