yes please - do listen to what STK has just said.  Just think about this - your first post you express the pain of being done out of 12 years of young adulthood when you could have been having a family.  He is not your friend he is his own friend.  He is not your lover, he is his own lover.  He doesn't even understand the dogs will miss each other.

I can't remember the details but one story I heard on here, the poor woman was left with a huge financial hole before she managed to get the divorce.  Transitioning costs an awful lot of money and then you've got to buy the lingerie.

sorry to say, but it is this bit, the bit where you separate financially, that is the hardest bit because you have to deal with the reality of him to complete it.  From everything I know I just think it is extremely very much entirely the inevitable likelihood that he cares about the money in a way he just doesn't care about you or the dogs.