OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / From We to Me at 73

**Posted by bentwanderer** February 24, 2019 10:59 am

walkbymyself, boy, it sounds like we are both on a very similar path of trying to figure our all the "what's best for me going forward into a new life". I look forward to hearing more on the forum about what you are exploring. Will NYC require a relocation for you?

**Posted by bentwanderer** February 24, 2019 11:07 am

Lynn, I am marginally aware of senior housing options and find myself quite resistant to doing much, if anything, with that right now. I ride my bike 12,000 miles a year and have done so for many, many years and am in leadership roles at the County level in cycling education and advocacy. I'm just not ready for senior housing. I appreciate your raising the option, but I'm just ready for that yet.

**Posted by bentwanderer** February 24, 2019 11:21 am

Lyn, thank you for affirming my space and place on my journey. I know I will come out on the other side on two feet and I will be okay. But it sure helps to hear affirmation from you and others that you've walked the same path and that you are in a better place now.

**Posted by bentwanderer** February 24, 2019 11:27 am

Abby, thank you for your cautions and suggestions about the living and medical expenses and resources. Thankfully, I have my own source of income plus medicare, supplemental BCBS, long-term care insurance, and enough to buy a right-sized single family dwelling or townhome, or opt-in to a co-housing scenario.

**Posted by bentwanderer** February 24, 2019 11:31 am

phoenix, Thank you for your offer to edit my post. Wise counsel from Abby. I have edited it and would appreciate your looking at it to see and let me know if I de-identified myself sufficiently.

**Posted by phoenix** February 24, 2019 11:33 am

Hi bentwanderer,

I work in the auto industry and I can tell you that the face of transportation is changing very quickly. It won't be too many years until very few people actually own cars. Instead there will be autonomously driven "taxi" cabs that people will pay for on a per-use basis. You will probably see this in your life.

But, you can already adopt this new paradigm. Are you familiar with Uber and Lyft? If you have a smartphone you can order a ride from anywhere to anywhere and it's really not too expensive. I know people who have already gotten rid of their vehicles and chose public transport and uber/lyft when necessary. It saves them money and stress and they seem to be happy.

I use them on vacation instead of renting a car at times.

Consider trying out these services. You might find that it will accomplish what you need in your life and take away that stress you are feeling right now.

**Posted by walkbymyself** February 24, 2019 11:52 am

bentwanderer wrote:
walkbymyself, boy, it sounds like we are both on a very similar path of trying to figure our all the "what's best for me going forward into a new life". I look forward to hearing more on the forum about what you are exploring. Will NYC require a relocation for you?

I lived in NYC for twenty years, and only moved out to the west coast because my husband had a job opportunity here. I still have many friends and contacts there, and visit frequently (at the moment, my daughter is living there). Every time I go back, I feel like it's "home" to me, and now with this new development in my life I'm thinking I need the comfort of a familiar place. I really tried to keep an open mind about where to go next -- but no matter where I looked, I knew instinctively I'd be happier going back where I have roots. The biggest problem is going to be the cost of living there.

I have been advised that I will get spousal support until my husband decides to retire, which is only two or three years off. After that, he would go back to court and request a reduction in support payments, and it's even possible my support would be cut off entirely. So I have to be really cautious about what kind of living situation I'm locked into.

**Posted by bentwanderer** February 24, 2019 11:53 am

Thanks phoenix. there was something similar to (or maybe the same??) your mention of the "autonomously driven" taxi in Chicago. Never used it there, though.

Uber/Lyft? Yep, one of my best friends. Have the app, rode with them twice yesterday. Even have a line item for them in my budget.

**Posted by bentwanderer** February 24, 2019 11:15 pm

walkbyyourself, I think you're wise to follow your "gut" and return to the City where you have roots, connections, and the comfort of navigating all the old places, routes, activities that gave you pleasure and comfort back in the day.