OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Changing "Discussion area for only those who remain committed" to....

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** January 27, 2019 1:06 pm

"Discussion area for those still in but questioning their relationship/marriage"

I think just that one word "committed"....stops many people posting here.

**Posted by phoenix** January 27, 2019 6:11 pm

How do you suggest it should be phrased?

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** January 27, 2019 7:05 pm

phoenix wrote:
How do you suggest it should be phrased?

"Discussion area for those still in...but questioning....their relationship/marriage" would fine-tune the heading

I see the reference "committed" as being for people who have already made up their mind to stay, and this may be a turn-off for some....who need to ask for advice and options while still living with their spouse.

Last edited by Ellexoh_nz (January 27, 2019 7:52 pm)

**Posted by phoenix** January 29, 2019 9:36 am

This is a good discussion.. let's keep it going.

My thought is that a large percentage of the forum is still in their relationship but questioning it and likely to leave it.
That is a different perspective from those who are intentionally trying to keep their relationship together.

The latter of these two groups often suffers from the negativity of the former. When Sam set up this section the idea was to offer a positive environment for those who are committed to staying married. I think everyone tends to question things, but my concern is that if we change the title of the section it will change the tone of the discussion to something more negative.

Thoughts??

**Posted by OutofHisCloset** January 29, 2019 11:45 am

Phoenix, you started a thread called "is this forum supportive of those who wish to stay in their marriages?" to discuss the question of setting up this dedicated section for those who were committed to their MOMs precisely because and after Ellexoh_nz and BrassyHub, in particular, felt that the comments in the other sections were too pessimistic and wanted a protected space for those who wanted only feedback about staying and making their MOMs work.
I agree with you that changing the title as suggested leaves little to distinguish it from the other sections.

**Posted by phoenix** January 29, 2019 12:03 pm

OOHC - You are correct and I agree - that's why I'm questioning Ellexoh's request. It feels like changing the title of this forum section would start to change the exact reason it exists.

**Posted by powerlineman** January 30, 2019 7:48 am

I don't see a need to change it. My opinion.

**Posted by vicky** January 30, 2019 8:52 am

While your at it you might want to change 'Making mixed orientation marriages work' as well. The folks over at MMOMW in yahoo don't like it, it sounds like you're affiliated.
Vicky

**Posted by phoenix** January 30, 2019 10:21 am

vicky wrote:
While your at it you might want to change 'Making mixed orientation marriages work' as well. The folks over at MMOMW in yahoo don't like it, it sounds like you're affiliated.
Vicky

Good input Vicky. I wasn't aware of the conflict. While I ultimately don't care what people in the yahoo group think of this forum, I'm fine with changing the wording a bit to avoid confusion. I've changed the "work" to "successful". I like this better anyway.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** January 30, 2019 1:21 pm

My original reason for wanting the Strategies for MOMs was because I'd been refused entry to the MMOMW group. I wasn't aware they talk about it over there because while they can open this forum and have free access....I would have to be accepted to read their site...which entailed I think..a secret handshake and walking over hot coals to prove I was worthy.
I felt that with the emphasis on this forum of the majority of spouses ultimately wanting out of their marriages/relationships....that there may be some, as far as first approaching & getting involved in the forum, who would benefit from a board with spouses who were still undecided but needed the support of others in the same position, and that the wording needed fine-tuning to appear less like the Yahoo group.....in my opinion stringent and unwelcoming.

Because not many post on the "Strategies..." board I have no measure of whether or not any fine-tuning would work, or if indeed it's even needed. The fact there have been just as many spouses who commented....who are already on the other side of this hell....may point to the possibility that I should never have brought the subject of a separate board to the forum's attention