OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / will you still need me, will you still feed me when I'm 64

**Posted by lily** January 23, 2019 12:31 am

I grew up when the Beatles were singing that line and I am 64 now.

When I was younger I believed that once we are over the hill generally speaking your love-life is not so important but now I know different. It goes the other way. And by the time you are 60 it has become an extreme sport - seriously, all care needed.

Over time I have found that I can give up as much as I like but it is still the way it is. I remember in my 40's thinking that if I was going to be dragged through a hedge anyway might as well face forwards as go backwards. I don't regret that thought.

Somehow I am finding that it is not based on success and failure whether you get that smile on your face.

But I am still going to wish everyone lots of good luck, all the best, Lily

**Posted by Estella Oculus** January 23, 2019 6:45 am

Happy birthday, Lily! I love that song! My siblings and I used to sing it at the top of our lungs--I have brass players in the family, so the oompa tuba element of the song was always a big hit.

I love that you describe love/sex in the later stages of life as an extreme sport. I'm going to take that to heart, and train well. ;)

Wishing you a wonderful day.

**Posted by Leah** January 24, 2019 9:04 am

Congrats Lily, 64! Yes it is important still. And as we know ourselves better, it is harder to get that zing thing meeting someone new. I just think cba (can't be arsed) most of the time. I'm not up for extreme sports anymore. I've already tried olympic style heroics to get my GIDX's attention for too long, I'm tired. If it ain't easy, then I'm not gonna go all out. Again.

**Posted by Abby** January 24, 2019 10:53 am

If the only sex you've had was with a gay guy the difference is mind-blowing. It helped me not look back and be bitter. I loved the person who posted her sister's saying that the way to get over one man is to get under another.

**Posted by Shan13** January 24, 2019 11:37 am

I have been wondering all day what it must feel like to be loved by a straight man...

**Posted by walkbymyself** January 24, 2019 1:42 pm

I used to think it was convenient the way our bodies started sagging just when our partners' eyesight went. I always thought that meant that someone who fell in love with you when you were young and beautiful, would always see you young and beautiful, no matter how old you got.

What's so hard for me is to think about my ever appearing young and beautiful to someone, because objectively speaking I'm not the ugliest, but nobody in their right mind would describe me as beautiful now.

**Posted by Abby** January 24, 2019 5:58 pm

I don't think you need to be young and beautiful to be attractive. The men we will have most in common with are not going to fit that description either. That's a plus because they and we are not going to blinded by appearances and will take the time to get to know each other. Stand tall and proud and eyes will follow you.

**Posted by Rob** January 25, 2019 8:12 am

"...will you still need me, will you still feed me when I'm 64?.."

...no , no they will not. Its a scary thing to see how shallow and fleeting their love was. Makes TGT look like nothing.

In this life and the next I would have taken care of my GX...despite any looks, weight, health problems.
I can assure you there are men and woman out there that value fierce authentic loyalty and love above any looks and health.

**Posted by lily** January 26, 2019 6:54 am

thank you everyone for the nice and interesting replies and birthday wishes - my birthday was a few weeks ago, so I'm getting used to it now. I got more to say but I'm tired and sleepy - I'll get back to it soon. We are having such a heat wave over here. all the best everyone

**Posted by Laurence** January 26, 2019 9:40 am

Happy birthday Lilly

Its certainly different when you get older and for me it’s been so much better. So as far as that’s concerned I am glad I’m no longer with my gay GID spouse. But I do regret that we will not be growing old together in the sense of being a couple/family.