OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Not having luck finding a straight spouse group in NYC

**Posted by MMartin** January 4, 2019 11:03 pm

Hello all,

I am wondering if any of you have tried to find support groups in your city by calling the number on the straight spouse main website. I have left several messages with my info over the weeks but nobody gets back at me. I have also written a message in the contact us section. I think it would be so beneficial to actually meet people in the city that are going through something similar! And I can’t believe it is so hard to find it in a city like ny. My gay STBX told me that he has found a group for the gay spouse that is or has been in mixed orientation marriages, and that there used to be one for the straight spouse in that same lgbt center, but that it kind of dissolved because the members, mostly women there, felt ashamed or embarrassed. I am not ashamed of what is happening to me, I want to talk about it!

If any of you have experience finding a group that meets in person please let me know.

Christmas is over!

Sending strength and good vibes to everyone.

**Posted by Estella Oculus** January 5, 2019 8:01 am

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Last edited by Estella Oculus (May 1, 2019 10:18 am)

**Posted by Estella Oculus** January 5, 2019 8:05 am

You're inspiring me to also check some of our local LGBTQ groups, too, to see if they have anything closer to my home. Thanks!

**Posted by Estella Oculus** January 5, 2019 8:11 am

Oh, you know, I am wondering maybe they are a little behind on contacts because of the holidays? You did put in an email contact (sorry, I missed that on first read). My guess is, they got a lot of them, and they could be sifting through now.

**Posted by MMartin** January 6, 2019 11:23 am

Hello Estella!

Thanks for replying, It could be because of the holidays, I will sure keep on trying! I do not have an email, just the contact us form they have on the web. Is there a specific email?
I completely understand about the shame, it’s an ups and downs ride, but you are doing the right thing by trying to resist it. No blame, no guilt, no shame and no closets. And if we feel it is OK, feelings come and go too, it’s a matter of not identifying with them or holding on. I would love a regional meetup! I don’t drive but I would make it happen.

**Posted by MMartin** January 7, 2019 7:46 pm

Estella,

I tried an email I found and it worked! They got back at me immediately.

Thanks for the tip.

**Posted by Estella Oculus** January 8, 2019 1:30 pm

FANTASTIC! So glad! Your points about feelings are EXCELLENT! Thanks for making them!

I do drive, and I do come down your way fairly often, so I'll DM you if I do, and perhaps we can have a healing cup of tea or coffee together.

Take care, and I hope the meetings bring you more growth and healing.

**Posted by MMartin** January 8, 2019 8:57 pm

That would be so lovely! Please do message me if you come to the city, and we will have warm, healing beverages, or perhaps my other go to: delicious and chocolaty treats.
I will let you know what happens with the meetings.