eventhori3on wrote:

I feel like just ending it all as my life just has fallen to pieces... and no one can understand what i am going through.

Even,

I know it feels like you're alone and that nobody else knows what you're going through, but I assure you, you aren't and some of us do know exactly what you're going through. My husband of 22 years is in complete denial. Absolutely refuses to acknowledge that he is gay. Just keeps saying "it's just a curiosity" when confronted about episode after episode of homosexual behaviors. 

I told him last week that after the holidays we will be separating. I'm only waiting so I don't ruin the holidays for my children. We hosted our neighborhood holiday party last night and someone brought their karaoke machine. He actually put on our wedding song and told someone in the room to come get me so we could sing it together.  The entire room was oohhing and awwing at how romantic it was and I was just seething inside. I felt like unless I wanted to announce right then that we were separating I had to sing along. And I was not prepared to make such an announcement in front of the entire neighborhood before I have spoken to my children. 

Anyway, the point is that you aren't alone. Everyone on this board is dealing with such similar stuff. Keep coming here. There are also support groups for straight spouses. I think you might benefit from one. See if there is one in your area. Sending you lots of support and strength!!!! *hugs*

Daryl wrote:

jkc - it sounds like you have a black belt degree manipulative SoB on your hands. This is probably laying the groundwork for the 'poor me, I was such a good husband' crap he will use to try to sway general opinion in his favour. Be careful, don't let him control the narrative with friends and family.

p.s. you should have told him to shove that microphone up his ass, God knows what else has been up there.

Maybe, but knowing him, it was more like a drunken attempt to show me "see, I really do love you like that...look at this romantic thing I can do for you" He sang karaoke to me on our honeymoon so I'd guess he thinks it will cause memories to flood back and I'll go running back into his arms. He's mistaken. Also, he can try whatever he likes, but my family will always support me over him. Always. No matter what he does. And any friends that choose him can have him. 

I appreciate the warning and I will definitely keep it in mind and watch out for stuff.