OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Apologies to Vicky

**Posted by Scrupulous** November 22, 2018 6:42 pm

Hi Vicky,
I think it was me that you are referring to that told the bisexual man, in your words to 'fuck off'. Actually I said to 'get the fuck off here' meaning off this forum. Regardless, I apologize to you and him (Bi man) also if I came off too rude and offensive. It was a wrong placement of words...
What I meant to say was "Happy Thanksgiving." (Lie)
The truth is that many of us get triggered by others defending a way of life that has hurt so many of us to the core.
I never married my GID but understand the pain it brings on when having to go through the deceit, emotional, physical and many other things one goes through when one is STRAIGHT and learn that the one they loved and trusted is GAY or have HOMOSEXUAL desires and LIED about it!
It is stab wound that takes a long time to recover from. I spent less than a year but I feel it may take years to heal from.
The women on here spent many years being stabbed, some 30 +....why would it be easy for them to accept and get over the pain?
Accept the angry and critical responses as pain and a request for men and women who disagree to leave us alone.

(To the Bi man
I dont have have an issue (and never did) with gay people. Interestingly all my friends that are gay (with the exception of one) all claimed bisexuality at one time and are now full blown gay. I do realize and have read that with some people sexuality changes through age and experience. Although mine has remained the same, I can accept this but think people are just in stages. Those that I think may be bi actually seem more closeted than anything. It doesn't take a genius to observe the signs and research the answers you knew all along.
Again that's my opinion.

(To Vicky
My other opinion is that if you were really okay with your husbands bisexuality, you wouldn't be on here.
But you are, and we are still here to help you when you aren't okay and need a listening ear.
After all it's called straight spouse for a reason.
However this is not a place for gay or bisexual people to defend their sexuality without helping those that are hurting from it, such as Sean's post.
I wish you well and please don't feel offended. As I said you are here for a reason also.

**Posted by vicky** November 22, 2018 7:10 pm

Hi,
Thanks.
If you search through my posts you'll see buried in there that several times I have said that I come here to help and connect with others. When the shit hit the fan for me I turned to SSN only to have a strip torn off of me for not wanting to leave. Some good advice came mixed in there too but mostly people said I'd be back in tears. Nearly 3 years on I'm better and stronger than ever.
I come on here and when I see someone who's like me, who loves their spouse and doesn't think they're the monster that some of you so unfortunately have had. I comment on their post and try to help them. I try to stick my nose out of the traumatic cases of lies and cheating as I don't have much to contribute to those.
This is the straight spouse network and unlike most here I still am a straight spouse and I would love to connect with other people in my situation. Every relationship is tough but these ones come with special challenges. Who can understand it really but others in one so I hope to find others like me. I'm on MMOMW and AP but I don't really feel a connection with many there.
Personally I was glad for Happyland's post it was great to see a positive relationship I hope his straight spouse does post here I'd love to chat with her.
Vicky

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** November 22, 2018 8:22 pm

vicky wrote:
.......Personally I was glad for Happyland's post it was great to see a positive relationship I hope his straight spouse does post here I'd love to chat with her.

Sadly...I think I'd be suspicious before I could be welcoming. With Happyland's statement
"My wife learned long ago, if she didn't want to know the answer to something, don't ask the question" .
I cringed at his ownership of her. I don't think he would allow her to join the forum

**Posted by phoenix** November 22, 2018 9:32 pm

I caught that too. His whole post, including his username felt condescending rather than supportive.

He was still treated more rudely than he should have been. As was Vicky.

Good form scrupulous.

Happy holidays everyone.

**Posted by OutofHisCloset** November 22, 2018 10:32 pm

I fail to see how a swinger who worked his way up to men can at all be considered bisexual. Bisexuality is like hetero or homosexuality a sexual orientation, which is not at all defined as "an occasional sex act." HappyLand may be a man of wide sexual tastes who likes a bit of strange, but bisexual? That's like me claiming I'm a vegetarian because I like an occasional vegetarian meal but eat meat the majority of the time: not, that is, "10% vegetarian."

**Posted by Daryl** November 22, 2018 11:40 pm

I'm a bit suspicious of the story and intentions in posting. I never heard of SSN or this forum until I needed it. Why would someones gay or bi partner be here, especially if their marriage is as blissful as portrayed? It just seemed like he was running interference or just trying to push some buttons.

**Posted by walkbymyself** November 23, 2018 4:55 pm

Ellexoh, that one quote was the one that set off my alarm bells, too.

That is not something a man would say if he fully respected and loved his wife.

**Posted by JenS** November 23, 2018 6:14 pm

Deleted.

Last edited by JenS (January 4, 2019 8:20 am)