OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Working without a net . . .

**Posted by Lynne** October 21, 2018 11:36 am

Deleted.

Last edited by Lynne (October 3, 2020 6:03 pm)

**Posted by Tyurk** October 21, 2018 12:03 pm

Lynne wrote:
Tyurk wrote:
How about he understands what he has done, be humble and sorry and try to change?
This is what most of us don't experience after discovery. And when you think about it you shouldn't be surprised. If they were capable of feeling genuine empathy they would have never tricked us and used us to begin with.

Lynne,
Exactly. I agree. I think without this, its impossible to stay together unless the straight spouse decides to "change". But even then, idk if thats possible either. Its a terrible place for us all.

**Posted by SpacedOut** October 21, 2018 4:26 pm

I don't feel like I can ever trust him again. I'm not sure what he can do at this point to convince me even if he said he would change his ways. Quietly -- but then again, not hiding the fact, I am making plans to leave. Thanks!

**Posted by Scrupulous** October 21, 2018 6:35 pm

Spacedout,
Sounds to me his is a soulless, godless, selfish fu*%ing pig and you should tell him that you have accepted that. (Description) Then send him off with a suitcase to go enjoy his rough, brutal and non emotional filth with his florida boys and they can all F*#k each other to hell.
Make sure you say this with a smirk and very little emotion.
Then add that you are going to holdout for amazing 'emotional' sex with the right kind of man whose goals, fantasies and actions are aimed to please a woman..(.not just himself with another man...which is a repulsive thought for this future man.) Go ahead and imagine him because they do exist.
Sorry I'm so blunt.
YOU WILL BE MORE THAN OKAY WITHOUT HIM.
He will never change and you will never be able to trust him and be in constant stress over what he's up to.
FL is so similar to Cali that it's crawling with this filth.
I've seen less Palmetto bugs than the these old disgusting cruisers.
My reaction to both is the same but unfortunately I can't take my heel and smash the larger infestation.
I wish you all the best.

Last edited by Scrupulous (October 21, 2018 7:12 pm)

**Posted by phoenix** October 22, 2018 9:07 am

Tyurk wrote:
Spacedout,
I am so sorry you are going through this. I dont reply to posts very often but yours actually physically upset me so I have to. I have so many curse words for this person in your life. He is being a manipulative snake. It seems you know this and good for you for moving into another room. As for the men just have different sex excuse...wtf! No shit its different, we arent idiots. But sorry, thats not an excuse. There is no excuse for what he has done. He lied, you were lead into this blindly then hit with a unexpected bomb! Now you have to "understand"? I dont think so. How about he understands what he has done, be humble and sorry and try to change? But these men just want us to accept this and allow it usually. These men use all kinds of excuses...its different, it releases stress, they were abused, its who I am ect. Well, bottom line is now you have also been abused and traumatized. You need to take care of you. If your line is drawn at no sex with other men and he is already openly saying he wont stop, then run run run!

Get in touch with a good lawyer.
Good luck to you. Take care of yourself.

This!

I would type out every word of it just as it was said.

I strongly recommend discreeetly visiting a few attorneys. Most offer low cost or free initial consultations. Write out a bit list of questoins about the process and costs of divorce and about your likely financial situation afterwards. You'll get an amazing education and will have a few attorneys from whom to pick when you are ready to proceed. Time is on your side.. start collecting copies of financial documents and important files and papers and put "all your ducks in a row". When you are ready to pull the trigger it won't be so stressful.

All my best to you!