OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Was it really just a phase??

**Posted by Duped** August 8, 2018 3:28 pm

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Last edited by Duped (August 26, 2019 2:34 pm)

**Posted by Duped** August 8, 2018 3:29 pm

Also read through Sean’s thread in this section.

**Posted by Rosie885** August 8, 2018 6:54 pm

We had a better talk about it. He says he gets angry because he has a lot of regrets about his career not turning out as he imagined which i know he struggles with and its been another regret for him being with men. He had an experimental experience when he was young with a friend and acted that out as an adult years later but felt disappointed by the experience and decided it wasn't for him. He has enjoyed dominating porn with women and strap ons since that time. But he can't explain anymore as to how the entire fantasy just switched off. He compared it to how as a child he just decided one day he didn't need his security blanket anymore or how that day he decided to stop tobacco and he did. He did however suggest couples therapy together...

**Posted by Rosie885** August 8, 2018 8:40 pm

Duped wrote:
Also read through Sean’s thread in this section.

I couldn't find it sorry. Do you know what the title of the thread is?

Thanks for your help

**Posted by Rosie885** August 8, 2018 9:52 pm

Another update sorry!
He had another interesting response during our big ongoing talk:
"I know you’re scared and worried. I’m not attracted to men I’ve told you that. I don’t walk down the street and think wow that’s a good looking guy. I was a bit confused when I was younger and I got through it. Think about this though....
you’re coming from the point of me thinking I’m straight but I might actually be bi or gay.
What if I thought I was bi before but realized that I’m actually straight".

I wonder if anyone else had had this experience?

**Posted by lily** August 8, 2018 10:18 pm

Hi Rosie,

he sounds like he wants to be dominated by a man. In gay talk that makes him a bottom.

ask yourself what you want.

all the best, Lily

**Posted by Duped** August 9, 2018 2:54 am

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Last edited by Duped (August 26, 2019 2:33 pm)

**Posted by OutofHisCloset** August 9, 2018 5:22 am

Sean's thread is in this "Is He/She Gay" section, and it's called "A Gay Ex-Husband Answers Your Questions."

**Posted by Rob** August 9, 2018 11:32 pm

Rosie,

I normally don't post much anymore but your story is troubling..

I just wanted to throw a couple view points out there from a straight male and as someone who was discarded decades later;

As a straight male I would never act like or pretend that being attracted to men is some normal or casual thing I could do. Straight guys just don't do that and talk that way about it. We would never say we were bi and changed our mind..

It could be a stressful marriage for you..is he meeting a buddy for a beer or is it a date? If he's on travel with some guys is he having sex? Why should you have to wonder.. The stress can eat you up.

My strong fierce love for my now ex could not fix her or keep her faithful..even after decades of friendship and life together. She was willing to throw everything away..the entire life we built, wedding vows, our home..all to be with a women she knew only a short time.

His honesty is admirable and his love of you now may be strong. But you have seen yourself..there are no take backs when someone has a same sex attraction..you can't unsay it..

Sincere wishes of strength and wisdom..

**Posted by Rosie885** August 10, 2018 10:24 am

Thank you for all of your help and suggestions.
It's definitely something I have to think about. I do love him very much and I do appreciate his honesty and commitment to couples therapy so I think I will like to attend some therapy sessions before we do anything else and see where that takes us.