OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Feeling physically unwell

**Posted by greyhound gal** May 28, 2018 3:39 pm

It might just be a virus but I’ve felt like crap for the last few days. Headaches, joint pain, total exhaustion but still not able to sleep properly. Help! Do you think it’s a physical reaction to all the emotional crap?
If so, what the hell do I do? I have just started a new job and can’t afford any time off.
Fucking bastard of a husband- I hate feeling like this.

**Posted by Daryl** May 28, 2018 8:53 pm

It's possible - even mental stress can lead to physical reactions.

**Posted by Lynne** May 28, 2018 9:18 pm

Deleted.

Last edited by Lynne (October 3, 2020 7:01 pm)

**Posted by phoenix** May 29, 2018 9:14 am

greyhound, How are you feeling today?

Emotional shock and trauma ABSOLUTELY causes physical illness. I'm no doctor of course, but I know from experience and reading a great deal about this topic. Emotional trauma causes elevated stress levels, lack of sleep, lack of appetite, high blood pressure, reduced immune system effectiveness, anxiety attacks, depression, etc.. I would go so far as to say that it is "normal" to feel physical illness and symptoms when you go through emotional distress.

Please go see a Dr. This is serious and potentially dangerous. You need to treat the symptoms so that you can get back to a healthy sleep and eating schedule. You may need medication for some of these issues. It's very important that you care for your health above all else was you go through this journey.

**Posted by greyhound gal** May 29, 2018 9:59 am

Thanks everyone. Feeling a bit less tired today. I did call the doc yesterday but couldn't get an appointment for over 2 weeks! This is quite normal in Scotland. I've been told to call first thing each morning and see if they've got a space.
Its kind of taken me by surprise although why I don't know. I think finding the emails last weekend has shaken me up.
Also I am struggling with the loneliness of it all. Work days are ok but weekends are really hard, especially Saturdays. They are family days aren't they? Its not easy to make the first move and ask people to meet up but I must be more brave.
Its my fault I suppose for making him and the children the centre of my world for so many years.

**Posted by phoenix** May 29, 2018 10:16 am

It's not your fault!

You showed real and true love by making the people you love the priority in your life. Don't apologize for that.. ever!

Now that you know his true colors you know he didn't give you the same love. Since he isn't making you a priority, it's time you make yourself the priority. Someone has to!

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** May 29, 2018 2:17 pm

greyhound gal wrote:
Its my fault I suppose for making him and the children the centre of my world for so many years.

Noooooooooo.........!!

You know it's not your fault. You thought, as many of us did, that your life was mapped out. And you'd be together forever. And now you find out your partner isn't who you thought he was. That onus is on him. All on him!

**Posted by greyhound gal** May 30, 2018 1:43 am

Ellexoh_nz wrote:
greyhound gal wrote:
Its my fault I suppose for making him and the children the centre of my world for so many years.
Noooooooooo.........!!

You know it's not your fault. You thought, as many of us did, that your life was mapped out. And you'd be together forever. And now you find out your partner isn't who you thought he was. That onus is on him. All on him!

Yes thats it. I thought I knew what my future held. Now I need to make a new one! xx

**Posted by StrongerThanIKnew** May 30, 2018 7:55 am

greyhound gal wrote:
Ellexoh_nz wrote:
greyhound gal wrote:
Its my fault I suppose for making him and the children the centre of my world for so many years.
Noooooooooo.........!!

You know it's not your fault. You thought, as many of us did, that your life was mapped out. And you'd be together forever. And now you find out your partner isn't who you thought he was. That onus is on him. All on him!

Yes thats it. I thought I knew what my future held. Now I need to make a new one! xx

And isn't that exciting?!?!

I met a woman on a cruise recently. When she found herself at one of life's crossroads, she decided she wanted to travel. She applied for a job with a cruise line and was hired. Now, less than 3 years later, she is the assistant cruise director. She said she'd give it 5 years when she started, but that has been extended because she is having a blast. What piqued my interest though and made me what to speak to her and get her story was her age. She was in her mid to late 40s, and although she thought her age would be a hurdle, it really wasn't.

Not that I'm suggesting we all go and apply to work on a cruise line. My point is that this woman was unhappy and changed the course of her life and didn't let her age stop her.

I know it is hard because I'm right there with you. I thought my future was set, and it was pulled right out from under me. My whole world was turned upside down. I'm not going to let it ruin me or my life though. Now, I get to do what I want to do. Now, my future is the course I set - not the one he sets for us. I can't wait to see how it all unfolds.

Stay Strong

**Posted by Roo** May 31, 2018 10:44 am

greyhound gal wrote:
Its my fault I suppose for making him and the children the centre of my world for so many years.

I was just thinking about this today. How that plans that 'we' had together will eventually be no more. Now I have to fight to keep my sanity and not go off the deep end and be some lonely woman with no one.