OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Dear all!

**Posted by LeaLabas** May 16, 2018 12:04 pm

Hello everyone! My name is Lea and I come from Croatia. I study cultural studies on Faculty of humanities and social sciences in Rijeka, I'm very involved in LGBTIQ activism and was also a partner of a transgender person (been there through his transition). Anyway, I like to write a lot about these topics through my Uni work anytime I get a chance, so this time I need to write a big essay covering issues which partners of transgender people face during and after their transition. I do have my own experience, but I would like to get as many material and information as I can. So I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions on this forum in the next few days/weeks while I'm writing it. I would be most grateful.
Thank you for your time and have a nice day!

(p.s. sorry for possible grammar mistakes)

**Posted by lily** May 16, 2018 12:34 pm

Might I suggest you give us your identity - are you straight or bisexual or lesbian or transgender or questioning or what?

**Posted by OutofHisCloset** May 16, 2018 1:43 pm

I am absolutely not interested in being part of an academic study. I don't wish any of what I've said in any of my posts to be taken out of context, or somehow turned into evidence to support an argument that diminishes my pain or casts me as hostile to transgender people. If you're not coming here with an open mind, wanting to learn what it is REALLY like, and validating OUR experience, but with your own agenda of wanting to support those who are transitioning or wanting to stay in MOM's, I think you're invading our safe space.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** May 16, 2018 1:53 pm

OutofHisCloset wrote:
, I think you're invading our safe space.

I wholeheartedly agree with OOHC

**Posted by Duped** May 16, 2018 2:17 pm

Deleted

Last edited by Duped (August 26, 2019 2:39 pm)

**Posted by phoenix** May 16, 2018 2:58 pm

Hi Lea,

Thank you for posting and for introducing yourself. I appreciate your transparency and admission of why you have signed up here.

Obviously you can read the posts that have been made on this site and hopefully these anonymous posts are helpful to you in your quest to understand the experience of the straight spouse. However, we are extremely careful and protective of our members so we prefer not to engage in any kind of study or research directly on this page. As we cannot control the message you chose to convey in the end we avoid participation. I hope you understand that the safety and security of our members (who have gone through so much already) is a key importance to us.

What I would recommend is that you contact our communications director through this link:  http://www.straightspouse.org/test-2-home/contact-us/
Janet will discuss your topic of research with you and decide if we are able to help.

Thanks so much!

**Posted by LeaLabas** May 17, 2018 10:34 am

Thank you all for your replies. Just to clear things up, I am not doing a big statistic research, a study that would somehow be shown to the public or uncover your identities. It's only an essay about this topic because I want to raise awareness about it. And as I mentioned, I have been through similar emotional roller coaster myself so I can imagine and relate to your pain and feelings. This was not supposed to invade your safe place, but I understand if you feel that way and I respect it. I'm sincerely sorry, it was honestly not my intention.
And also, I'm not studying you in that context, or me in the position of the 'partner of trans person', I'm trying to collect some experiences so my work wouldn't be subjective. I just don't like the fact that there's not so many people thinking about the stuff WE go through.

Thank you for your time and your replies.
Love and support to all.

Last edited by LeaLabas (May 17, 2018 10:39 am)

**Posted by lily** May 17, 2018 1:15 pm

Hi Lea,

We've been put through the wringer over the identity of our spouses here, so it bothers me not to get a direct answer when I asked you that question. I'm not being disrespectful, but it makes interaction and support a lot easier if you know don't you think?

**Posted by LeaLabas** May 17, 2018 1:50 pm

Lily, I'm sorry I overlooked your question when I was answering. I am straight.

**Posted by Duped** May 17, 2018 3:09 pm

Deleted

Last edited by Duped (August 26, 2019 2:39 pm)