Greyhound Gal, My situation isn't exactly the same as yours. My STBX is trans. We tried to make it work for about a year after he came out to me, but couldn't. During that very long year, I felt as you described. My health really went down hill, and I know it was from stress and not sleeping. I felt just like you said -- total exhaustion. I just hurt all over. I really stepping off a curb one day -- a curb -- and my calf seized up on me. I walked with a limp for 2 months until I decided to do something nice for myself and got a massage. The massage therapist managed to work out that knot and many others. The massage therapist told me that she was shocked at how tight I was and all the knots I had. She told me that I didn't look stressed but my body told a different story. She said to me, and I will never forget this, "I don't know what is going on in your personal life, but are you safe?" I told her I was and that things were just extremely stressful at home. She suggested I find a good counselor to talk to. That would go a long way in helping me feel better physically as well.

I was floored. I don't get a lot of massages, but I have never had a massage therapist suggest that I was so tight and knotted from stress that I should get counseling. 

My limp was gone though. LOL!

By the time my STBX moved out, I felt nothing but relief, and I took pleasure in my own company, and I took great pride in doing things like fixing the toilet or the pool pump or changing out a ceiling fan. All of these things showed me that I was going to be okay.

And you know what? I am. Hell, I am more than okay. I am excited for the future. I plan on living simply so I can travel -- a lot. Something my STBX didn't want to do because s/he travels a lot for work.

Stay strong.

Greyhound,

Kudos on getting that bed together anything we accomplish on our own is good.   

Yes it is normal to feel exhausted from the stress..  I felt I was in constant fight or flight mode and it wears on you.   

Away from this now I try to avoid stressful situations as they trigger that constant stress. My bandwidth is reduced..

Be kind to yourself and give yourself a break.  Its not like these spouse would..

He came over today to collect gardening things from the garage. We had agreed this before he left as he didnt have the room to take them. He was here a couple of hours, had lunch and loaded the car. He was really upset- I think he is finding it hard on his own and feels quite lonely. I did feel sorry for him- he's in anew house in a new place and still finding his feet.
My question to you is this- I felt hardly anything at all. I felt like it was nice to catch up but I'm ok now he's gone again. Is this normal? I feel a bit weird to be honest. I don't know if I am genuinely ok or if I'm bottling it up and at some point the dam will burst?
I feel bad because I am not upset?! what do you think?

I think that's a great sign greyhound.  Being able to spend time with him and not feel a flood of overwhelming pain and emotion is a great place to be.    

There certainly could be emotions under the surface, but you'll never know until they do surface.  If they do.. let them flow and deal with them.  But don't stress because you don't see them.  

I think you are doing fantastic.   keep moving forward!!!

Greyhound Gal,
   If you find that you have a delayed reaction, and feel bad later, know that this, too, is entirely normal.