OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / another one to add to the statistics

**Posted by OutofHisCloset** January 20, 2018 5:23 pm

OK: Last night I said I'm done. We've agreed to divorce. Our goal is to do so amicably. I'll hope we can keep it that way.
Disclosure: March 2015
Agreed to Divorce: January 2018

I don't know if Sam's keeping statistics, but there you are.

**Posted by Duped** January 20, 2018 5:42 pm

Giant step towards a more peaceful future OOHC. I’m sure this is a big relief for you after all this time.

You know I’m totally rooting for your happiness

**Posted by lily** January 20, 2018 6:26 pm

yes, giant step towards a more peaceful future. Good for you. wishing you all the best, Lily

**Posted by Rob** January 20, 2018 7:04 pm

OOHC,

Steady on and forward. You've been living it for 3 years. I hope he stays amicable. You've got lots of support here.

**Posted by Dee** January 20, 2018 7:25 pm

Wishing you peace moving forward. You are not a statistic, you are brave, please remember that.

**Posted by OutofHisCloset** January 21, 2018 6:47 am

Thank you all for your supportive and kind words.
It's been a long three years, and although I'm not out of the trans woods yet and I know there will be challenges in both the short range and long range futures, I'm relieved to have finally said what I knew had to be said. Relieved, alternating with sadness, anger, and grief. I am looking forward to the time the relief and a new hope are the predominant emotions.
Like all of you, I never wanted to be in a MOM. And I learned that I can't stay there.

**Posted by Count of Monte Cristo** January 21, 2018 1:04 pm

Hard. I can't imagine 3 years. Wow! going through it here too. And no, there aren't two sides to a divorce. If there is a 0% chance it cant work out then life must go on. It is hard. Once mine told me she was gay things went downhill fast. Sucks. Life will get better. Piles of good folks on here can confirm to that!

Good luck to all,

**Posted by Count of Monte Cristo** January 21, 2018 1:08 pm

Oh, and I hope you can stay amicable. That is easy to say. Don't make super emotional decisions and do it right. I can barely talk to mine on the phone and I haven't seen her in person in a while. Thank goodness for texting. Super hurt in this world.

**Posted by phoenix** January 21, 2018 1:51 pm

OOHC. I know that was an agonizing decision to make. I hope you find peace in it. Keep moving forward!

**Posted by Kel** January 22, 2018 12:28 pm

OoHC,

No one's keeping track of who decides to stay and who doesn't. That's part of why I'm always telling people that they don't get a prize for sticking it out in a dead marriage. There's no one there to congratulate you on having suffered through the muck. There are plenty though who will ask if you if you're sure. As if YOU are the only one not thinking your marriage through thoroughly enough. No one can say you didn't try hard enough and long enough, though. Three years after disclosure is a long time to hang in there. Once we reach a point where we realize that things aren't going to change, and we can't live with them the way they are, so we either have to accept it, or get out. That's really all there is.

Hoping you get some peace soon.

Kel